Okay, we are one day away from the Preakness and as opposed to the Kentucky Derby, I have decided that I should provide a pre-race preview of this race. (You might remember that I was dealing with only a brief bit of time leading up to the Kentucky Derby considering that the Derby was raced on May 3, only a short three days after the April Boycott.) Let me make one thing clear from the start; the only reason I would consider any of these horses to be any sort of a threat to Big Brown is because with the exception of Gayego, none of the other horses raced Big Brown in the Kentucky Derby, and thus have all been off since at least April 20. (That is with the exception of Macho Again who ran in a 7.5 furlong race on April 26.)
On paper and with full rest, Big Brown should crush these other horses, especially since at the Preakness, as opposed to the last two times that Big Brown has raced, Big Brown did not draw the far outside post, and thus should not have to swing so wide on the first turn. Breaking from the seven post, I would expect jockey Kent Desormeaux to take Big Brown to the lead from the start to avoid getting jumbled with the other horses. Big Brown has already shown that he can win races wire-to-wire, as he did at the Florida Derby. In the Florida Derby (March 29), Big Brown set quick fractions early and was still able to easily pull away from an overmatched field. With no real credible threats in this race, I would expect Desormeaux to set really controlled fractions early on (i.e., relatively slow fractions), daring any of the other horses to take over the lead. Big Brown appears to be talented enough that he can respond to any challenge made by these horses without wasting too much energy. Big Brown should be able to then pull away from the rest of the field when Desormeaux calls on him to do so. If you look at the recent races in which these horses have run, for all races reasonably close in length to the 9.5 furlongs the horses will run on Saturday (so I'm excluding Macho Again's 7.5 furlong race), all of Big Brown's competitors were fighting to the very end to run times that were inferior to the times that Big Brown ran at both the Florida Derby and the Kentucky Derby where in each case he had more to give if needed. Big Brown should not have much trouble winning this race.
As for the rest of the field, originally I was going to pick Behindatthebar for second and Yankee Bravo for third, but with the scratch of Behindatthebar, I'm promoting Yankee Bravo up to second and moving Gayego into third position.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Kentucky Derby and PETA
I was unfortunately unable to see the Kentucky Derby live this year as I was attending a wedding that started near the time when The Run for the Roses began, but just as I thought would be the case from watching the Florida Derby, Big Brown was a very difficult horse to beat.
I understand that one does not show much bravery by picking the favorite to win, but some of the reasons that people gave for why Big Brown would not win seemed somewhat asinine. In this article, Paul Moran points out that no horse so lightly raced (Big Brown had only had three career races completed heading into the Kentucky Derby) and undefeated entering the Derby had won since Regret won in 1915. Do you see what the key is here behind Moran's questioning of Big Brown's chances? It wasn't because Big Brown was so lightly raced heading into the Derby or that he was undefeated heading into the Derby, it was because Big Brown was lightly raced and undefeated heading into the Derby that allowed Moran to go all the way back to 1915 to question Big Brown's chances. Because if you throw out the whole lightly raced criterion (i.e., only having had three prior starts), you would have to go all the way back to 2006 to find the last undefeated horse entering the Derby to be victorious on that first Saturday in May (Barbaro). And before Barbaro in 2006, you would have to go all the way back to 2004 to find the last undefeated horse entering the Derby to win (Smarty Jones).
The question of Big Brown's experience is crucial to Moran's argument and is essentially the only part worth exploring. Who cares that Big Brown was undefeated heading into the Derby? Would this really seem to be a legitimate reason to question his ability to win? In this article, Bill Finley does a better job, in my opinion of explaining the flaw of examining Big Brown's limited amount of starts heading into the Kentucky Derby. He indicates that only nine horses since 1955 had even entered the Derby only having completed three or fewer prior races. Let's say that on average ten horses enter the Kentucky Derby each year (the maximum that are allowed to race in the Derby is twenty so this seems like a reasonable estimate) and that we are looking at fifty-two races (I'm assuming that Finley meant that since the completion of the 1955 Derby, which would make the 1956 Derby the first in the span that he is referencing). So zero of those nine out of 520 horses with only three lifetime prior starts had won the Kentucky Derby since 1955? Wow, that certainly seems to be a significant statistic...
But going all the way back for a moment to the last undefeated horse to win the Kentucky Derby before Big Brown for a moment, I want to discuss something of real (or at least greater) statistical significance and Barbaro. Just as was the case with Big Brown, Barbaro's last prep race before the Kentucky Derby was the Florida Derby. Here is what Daily Racing Form said about Big Brown's chance of winning from post 12 (the extreme outside post) heading into the Florida Derby:
And now on to PETA. This year's Kentucky Derby of course ended tragically with the death of place horse Eight Belles. After having finished the race, she collapsed after a quarter mile of her cool-down following the race, shattering both front ankles. It is quite tragic whenever one of these impressive horses has to be euthanized due to such an injury, and if PETA wants to take on the entire Thoroughbred racing industry, I would say that this would be their prerogative. There are certainly legitimate arguments that can be made that the breeding of Thoroughbreds leads directly to animal suffering. However, this is not what PETA has done. Oh no, they want Eight Belles's jockey suspended. As the the letter that PETA faxed to the Kentucky racing authority states, Eight Belles was obviously injured before the end of the race and so jockey Gabriel Saez should be suspended while Eight Belles's death is investigated. So why even bother investigating? PETA already clearly knows that Eight Belles was injured before the race ended, so what will more silly investigating tell us? Let's just stop wasting time with a silly suspension and just throw Saez in prison for a long time. Right now. This instant. Because obviously Saez knew Eight Belles was hurt before the race ended and just wanted to see her break both front ankles and have to be euthanized. You don't have to interview anyone or investigate anything to know that...
I understand that one does not show much bravery by picking the favorite to win, but some of the reasons that people gave for why Big Brown would not win seemed somewhat asinine. In this article, Paul Moran points out that no horse so lightly raced (Big Brown had only had three career races completed heading into the Kentucky Derby) and undefeated entering the Derby had won since Regret won in 1915. Do you see what the key is here behind Moran's questioning of Big Brown's chances? It wasn't because Big Brown was so lightly raced heading into the Derby or that he was undefeated heading into the Derby, it was because Big Brown was lightly raced and undefeated heading into the Derby that allowed Moran to go all the way back to 1915 to question Big Brown's chances. Because if you throw out the whole lightly raced criterion (i.e., only having had three prior starts), you would have to go all the way back to 2006 to find the last undefeated horse entering the Derby to be victorious on that first Saturday in May (Barbaro). And before Barbaro in 2006, you would have to go all the way back to 2004 to find the last undefeated horse entering the Derby to win (Smarty Jones).
The question of Big Brown's experience is crucial to Moran's argument and is essentially the only part worth exploring. Who cares that Big Brown was undefeated heading into the Derby? Would this really seem to be a legitimate reason to question his ability to win? In this article, Bill Finley does a better job, in my opinion of explaining the flaw of examining Big Brown's limited amount of starts heading into the Kentucky Derby. He indicates that only nine horses since 1955 had even entered the Derby only having completed three or fewer prior races. Let's say that on average ten horses enter the Kentucky Derby each year (the maximum that are allowed to race in the Derby is twenty so this seems like a reasonable estimate) and that we are looking at fifty-two races (I'm assuming that Finley meant that since the completion of the 1955 Derby, which would make the 1956 Derby the first in the span that he is referencing). So zero of those nine out of 520 horses with only three lifetime prior starts had won the Kentucky Derby since 1955? Wow, that certainly seems to be a significant statistic...
But going all the way back for a moment to the last undefeated horse to win the Kentucky Derby before Big Brown for a moment, I want to discuss something of real (or at least greater) statistical significance and Barbaro. Just as was the case with Big Brown, Barbaro's last prep race before the Kentucky Derby was the Florida Derby. Here is what Daily Racing Form said about Big Brown's chance of winning from post 12 (the extreme outside post) heading into the Florida Derby:
And if you would like to read what Bloodhorse.com said about or actually see the race, check it out here. The point is that Big Brown completed a more impressive feat than did Barbaro in winning his Florida Derby. From the quote above it is clear that the person speaking has placed Barbaro on quite a lofty pedestal (watching the video of Barbaro's Kentucky Derby victory makes you understand why), so if Big Brown was able to complete a more impressive feat than did Barbaro, take the same amount of time off heading into the Kentucky Derby, and by all objective viewings appear to be vastly more talented than his rivals, then why did so many experts so easily talk themselves out of predicting a Big Brown victory? I suppose those experts might be lacking in experience.
And now on to PETA. This year's Kentucky Derby of course ended tragically with the death of place horse Eight Belles. After having finished the race, she collapsed after a quarter mile of her cool-down following the race, shattering both front ankles. It is quite tragic whenever one of these impressive horses has to be euthanized due to such an injury, and if PETA wants to take on the entire Thoroughbred racing industry, I would say that this would be their prerogative. There are certainly legitimate arguments that can be made that the breeding of Thoroughbreds leads directly to animal suffering. However, this is not what PETA has done. Oh no, they want Eight Belles's jockey suspended. As the the letter that PETA faxed to the Kentucky racing authority states, Eight Belles was obviously injured before the end of the race and so jockey Gabriel Saez should be suspended while Eight Belles's death is investigated. So why even bother investigating? PETA already clearly knows that Eight Belles was injured before the race ended, so what will more silly investigating tell us? Let's just stop wasting time with a silly suspension and just throw Saez in prison for a long time. Right now. This instant. Because obviously Saez knew Eight Belles was hurt before the race ended and just wanted to see her break both front ankles and have to be euthanized. You don't have to interview anyone or investigate anything to know that...
The (We)Blog is Back!
Just as the title to this entry indicates, the (we)blog is indeed back. I decided to boycott the month of April for some (at this point) unspecified reason, and who knows, I might just make this April boycott an annual event. And why did I choose to boycott April (you might ask)? Well, as I have already pointed out, the reason is unspecified. Perhaps one day I will go into detail about why I chose to do so.
With that covered, some of you may be wondering why I waited so long into May to publish this first post. I will answer that wonderment by saying stop riding me and stay out of my office. Besides, if I had published this on May 1 for example, there may have been somewhere else on the planet where it was still April 30, and don't forget that April 30 still occurred during my April Boycott. (Yes, it has risen to the level where I am giving it a proper noun.)
And so what can you expect from this (we)blog going forward? Can you expect a new and improved quality of rambling? Do you think that I'm still at the top of my game? Well let me answer those questions sequentially: the same sort of crap you saw before, I would say to expect the same quality of rambling crap that you saw before, and I would say that if you liked the crap I wrote before (or if you hated the crap that I wrote before) then you certainly should like (hate) the crap that I write from here on out (except that I will not be writing during the April Boycott).
Now there you have it, leave me alone, and B, stay out of my office.
With that covered, some of you may be wondering why I waited so long into May to publish this first post. I will answer that wonderment by saying stop riding me and stay out of my office. Besides, if I had published this on May 1 for example, there may have been somewhere else on the planet where it was still April 30, and don't forget that April 30 still occurred during my April Boycott. (Yes, it has risen to the level where I am giving it a proper noun.)
And so what can you expect from this (we)blog going forward? Can you expect a new and improved quality of rambling? Do you think that I'm still at the top of my game? Well let me answer those questions sequentially: the same sort of crap you saw before, I would say to expect the same quality of rambling crap that you saw before, and I would say that if you liked the crap I wrote before (or if you hated the crap that I wrote before) then you certainly should like (hate) the crap that I write from here on out (except that I will not be writing during the April Boycott).
Now there you have it, leave me alone, and B, stay out of my office.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
My Evening at the Sweet Sixteen
So, one of my really good friends had an extra ticket to the Men's South Regional semifinals last night (and of course he had an extra ticket for the finals occurring tomorrow) and I ended up being the lucky guy to come into possession of the ticket. Needless to say, it was quite an interesting experience.
Now I have been to Final Fours before, but this was the first time that I have ever gone to any other round of the tournament. First of all, the seats that I had for the two games last night were much better than the seats that I have ever had for other games. But the dynamics of this game were far different (with one possible exception) from any of the other games I had seen. The matchups last night were between Stanford/University of Texas and then Michigan State/Memphis. With the games taking place in Houston and with the overwhelming amount of Texas fans who were clearly in the building, things definitely took on the feel of being in a UT home environment. This made the experience absolutely sickening.
Anyone who knows me well knows how much I hate the University of Texas. Being immersed in that environment was essentially torture for me. Stanford did play well for much of the game last night, but in the last ten minutes or so, when the Cardinal was in complete collapse mode, the UT fans were at their most annoying. The stupid cheering for the team was incessant. The stupid hand salute that UT fans do was being done by virtually everyone in the stadium who was wearing burnt orange. And it seemed that virtually everyone in the stadium was wearing burnt orange. Yuck. What made matters worse was that I had perhaps the most annoying UT fan on the planet sitting directly in front of me. Okay, you may be wondering how I could possibly come to the conclusion that he was the most annoying UT fan on the planet when there are countless nominees for that particular award. And also, to be fair, this particular UT fan did not do a whole lot of sitting in front of me since he was standing up, doing that stupid UT salute, high-fiving people for what seems like the entire game. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I probably saw more of the game by the big screen over the court than the actual game on the court. Even when Texas got a defensive rebound, for example, this guy was standing up saluting, high-fiving. I felt like at many times saying, "Really guy? The entire game?"
Luckily the annoying UT guy did not seem to be there to cheer for Memphis as well. Let me assure everyone who was watching that game on television, Memphis is every bit better than Michigan State that seemed to be indicated on television. They were quite impressive. And there are not enough good things that I can possibly say about Derrick Rose. He is stunningly good. When he was on the court, Memphis looked unbeatable. He was so steady with the ball; Michigan State could get virtually no pressure on him while he dribbled. Any sort of pressure that they would try to apply, and Rose would just blow by the defender with ease. The only time that Michigan State seemed to have any success is when Rose was off the court for a prolonged period in the second half getting a cut over his eye stiched. However, once he was back in the game, any hopes that Michigan State might have had were completely killed. I'm crossing my fingers that Sunday could be a very good day for me and a very bad day for the annoying UT guy. I'm thinking that I may get to see much more of the regional final on the court.
But the coolest thing about last night, and something that is cool about the Final Four as well, was seeing the big name alumni players of the school in the arena. They did show Magic Johnson on the big screen at one point, but he was just sitting there being Magic Johnson. What was really cool, however, was while I was standing up at one point, I think during halftime of the second game, just kind of looking out down in the crowd, all of a sudden I see Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway. It was much cooler seeing Hardaway since I do remember seeing him when he played for the then Memphis State team. I do remember seeing him make his own run deep in the tournament about sixteen years ago. But what made the Penny sighting even better than the Magic Johnson sighting was that Penny was actually walking up the stairway in the section that I was sitting in.
As he walked up the stairs, he seemed to take the time to shake the hands of anyone who wanted to shake hands with him, he took several photos, and seemed to stop for a bit to talk with a number of people. There was no sort of big name star attitude, and he never seemed to be in the least bit frustrated that it was taking him so long to get out of their to get to the concession stand. There was a definite coolness about him. So the bottom line is this; if you ever have the chance to die and come back in a next life as anything, choose to come back as a big time college basketball player at a big time state school. You will live on as a legend forever in the fans' minds.
Now I have been to Final Fours before, but this was the first time that I have ever gone to any other round of the tournament. First of all, the seats that I had for the two games last night were much better than the seats that I have ever had for other games. But the dynamics of this game were far different (with one possible exception) from any of the other games I had seen. The matchups last night were between Stanford/University of Texas and then Michigan State/Memphis. With the games taking place in Houston and with the overwhelming amount of Texas fans who were clearly in the building, things definitely took on the feel of being in a UT home environment. This made the experience absolutely sickening.
Anyone who knows me well knows how much I hate the University of Texas. Being immersed in that environment was essentially torture for me. Stanford did play well for much of the game last night, but in the last ten minutes or so, when the Cardinal was in complete collapse mode, the UT fans were at their most annoying. The stupid cheering for the team was incessant. The stupid hand salute that UT fans do was being done by virtually everyone in the stadium who was wearing burnt orange. And it seemed that virtually everyone in the stadium was wearing burnt orange. Yuck. What made matters worse was that I had perhaps the most annoying UT fan on the planet sitting directly in front of me. Okay, you may be wondering how I could possibly come to the conclusion that he was the most annoying UT fan on the planet when there are countless nominees for that particular award. And also, to be fair, this particular UT fan did not do a whole lot of sitting in front of me since he was standing up, doing that stupid UT salute, high-fiving people for what seems like the entire game. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I probably saw more of the game by the big screen over the court than the actual game on the court. Even when Texas got a defensive rebound, for example, this guy was standing up saluting, high-fiving. I felt like at many times saying, "Really guy? The entire game?"
Luckily the annoying UT guy did not seem to be there to cheer for Memphis as well. Let me assure everyone who was watching that game on television, Memphis is every bit better than Michigan State that seemed to be indicated on television. They were quite impressive. And there are not enough good things that I can possibly say about Derrick Rose. He is stunningly good. When he was on the court, Memphis looked unbeatable. He was so steady with the ball; Michigan State could get virtually no pressure on him while he dribbled. Any sort of pressure that they would try to apply, and Rose would just blow by the defender with ease. The only time that Michigan State seemed to have any success is when Rose was off the court for a prolonged period in the second half getting a cut over his eye stiched. However, once he was back in the game, any hopes that Michigan State might have had were completely killed. I'm crossing my fingers that Sunday could be a very good day for me and a very bad day for the annoying UT guy. I'm thinking that I may get to see much more of the regional final on the court.
But the coolest thing about last night, and something that is cool about the Final Four as well, was seeing the big name alumni players of the school in the arena. They did show Magic Johnson on the big screen at one point, but he was just sitting there being Magic Johnson. What was really cool, however, was while I was standing up at one point, I think during halftime of the second game, just kind of looking out down in the crowd, all of a sudden I see Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway. It was much cooler seeing Hardaway since I do remember seeing him when he played for the then Memphis State team. I do remember seeing him make his own run deep in the tournament about sixteen years ago. But what made the Penny sighting even better than the Magic Johnson sighting was that Penny was actually walking up the stairway in the section that I was sitting in.
As he walked up the stairs, he seemed to take the time to shake the hands of anyone who wanted to shake hands with him, he took several photos, and seemed to stop for a bit to talk with a number of people. There was no sort of big name star attitude, and he never seemed to be in the least bit frustrated that it was taking him so long to get out of their to get to the concession stand. There was a definite coolness about him. So the bottom line is this; if you ever have the chance to die and come back in a next life as anything, choose to come back as a big time college basketball player at a big time state school. You will live on as a legend forever in the fans' minds.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Chase for the PopoZao - March 27, 2008
Here are the finishing results from the most recent Chase for the PopoZao race. As always, first place votes appear in parentheses. The Chase is on!
Previous PopoZao Finish
PopoZao Finish - March 27, 2008
1. Britney Spears (2) - 2000 PopoZao Points - Britney is back! Britney Spears makes her first ever appearance at the top of the PopoZao rankings after an amazing comeback. Let's recap briefly the life that was Britney Spears until recently. She was an overrated popstar who decided that it was in her best interest to marry a former boy band backup dancer, she sort of came to her senses and dumped said former backup dancer, she then went completely insane according to anyone objectively looking at her life, and then she was completely worked in the child custody hearings with said former backup dancer. All of this brings us back to the present day. How has Spears rebounded? Well, the Committee has noticed that she has finally become a serviceable individual in Hollywood again. Case in point, there were two recent programs that featured Britney Spears. There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother and there was an episode of South Park. Now, as you might have guessed, the Committee is quite busy these days. The members had not the time to watch Spears in both of these programs and so the members flipped a coin and ended up settling on watching South Park. And the Committee jointly came to the conclusion that Britney was fabulous in the episode. (If you want to see it, watch it here.) The Committee can only assume that she was equally fabulous in the other program, which no one on the Committee has ever watched. For this huge comeback, and for the fact that Spears was recently placed under the custodianship of her father (translation: she once again got to receive an allowance!) - and who wouldn't want to go back to the simple days when our parents got to make all of the decisions for us?! - Britney Spears wins this race in the Chase for the PopoZao!
2. Ashley Alexandra Dupre (1) - 1900 PZ Points - Do you know this name? Well it is not necessarily surprising if you don't. She is the girl at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. She makes her debut on this list, and almost ascends to the top spot because it is almost impossible for the Committee to imagine that any person could ever make such an enormous impact in such a short time. The Committee wants to be clear about one thing, there are many losers in this scandal. However, there is only one winner according to the Committee: Ashley Alexandra Dupre. If she manages things wisely, she is absolutely set for life as a result of her part in this scandal. And she will likely be able to make choices that will gain her wealth that will not degrade her if she so chooses, such are the opportunities that will be presented to her. So why didn't Dupre ascend all the way to the top spot? Well, the Committee considered this little matter of her appearance at the age of seventeen in a Girls Gone Wild video. Now, the Committee does not penalize her for appearing in the video itself, the Committee penalizes her because she appeared in the video as a seventeen year old and it appears that this will in no way lead to the imprisonment of shady Girls Gone Wild CEO, Joe Francis. This may seem like it is harsh, but the Committee realizes that there is a lot of competition out there for the top spot in the Chase for the PopoZao.
19. Kevin Federline - 200 PZ Points - Kevin Federline takes a huge plunge in the rankings from his last position, less than a week after his thirtieth birthday. What would possess the Committee to drop Federline so far after a landmark birthday? Does the Committee feel that once you hit thirty, it is all over? The Commitee answers an emphatic NO to that last question. Then why did the Committee drop Federline so low in the rankings? Simply put, if you are booed off the stage at your own birthday party, you deserve to take a hit in these rankings. Getting booed off of the stage at your own birthday party will not get you the PopoZao. The Committee is still a little confused as to why there were any people present at Federline's birthday party to boo him off of the stage, however.
23. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points - What will it take to send this guy to jail for good?
40. People who attended Kevin Federline's birthday party - -1900 PZ Points - The Committee is wondering what you people were thinking in the first place. You had nothing better to do than go to Kevin Federline's birthday party? Nothing? This was the scene to be seen? Ridiculous. And when Kevin Federline came on to the stage, how did you expect things to go? Were you expecting a tour de force performance? The only way that the Committee could possibly consider forgiving you for your obvious lack of judgment would be if you claim that you went there knowing that the guy is a hack and that you just wanted to boo him. However, that explanation does not fly since you likely had to pay to get into the party. (How else are they going to come up with the appearance fee that Federline required to attend his own birthday party?) People, you should never, ever, ever be paying money to see Kevin Federline.
41. Dr. Phil - -2000 PZ Points - Though there is no confirmation whatsoever, the Committee just assumes that Dr. Phil attended Kevin Federline's birthday party. As a result, Dr. Phil bottoms out the Chase for the PopoZao rankings once again.
Current Chase for the PopoZao Standings as of March 27, 2008:
1. Kevin Federline - 4100 PopoZao Points
2. Amy Winehouse - 3300 PZ Points
4. Britney Spears - 2700 PZ Points
6. Jamie Lynn Spears - 2000 PZ Points
7(tie). Ryan Seacrest and Ashley Alexandra Dupre - 1900 PZ Points
10. Tom Brady - 1500 PZ Points
32. Blake Fielder-Civil - 100 PZ Points
35. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points
43. Jessica Simpson - -900 PZ Points
44. Tony Romo - -1100 PZ Points
51. The Early Show - -2000 PZ Points
78. Dr. Phil - -5900 PZ Points
Previous PopoZao Finish
PopoZao Finish - March 27, 2008
1. Britney Spears (2) - 2000 PopoZao Points - Britney is back! Britney Spears makes her first ever appearance at the top of the PopoZao rankings after an amazing comeback. Let's recap briefly the life that was Britney Spears until recently. She was an overrated popstar who decided that it was in her best interest to marry a former boy band backup dancer, she sort of came to her senses and dumped said former backup dancer, she then went completely insane according to anyone objectively looking at her life, and then she was completely worked in the child custody hearings with said former backup dancer. All of this brings us back to the present day. How has Spears rebounded? Well, the Committee has noticed that she has finally become a serviceable individual in Hollywood again. Case in point, there were two recent programs that featured Britney Spears. There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother and there was an episode of South Park. Now, as you might have guessed, the Committee is quite busy these days. The members had not the time to watch Spears in both of these programs and so the members flipped a coin and ended up settling on watching South Park. And the Committee jointly came to the conclusion that Britney was fabulous in the episode. (If you want to see it, watch it here.) The Committee can only assume that she was equally fabulous in the other program, which no one on the Committee has ever watched. For this huge comeback, and for the fact that Spears was recently placed under the custodianship of her father (translation: she once again got to receive an allowance!) - and who wouldn't want to go back to the simple days when our parents got to make all of the decisions for us?! - Britney Spears wins this race in the Chase for the PopoZao!
2. Ashley Alexandra Dupre (1) - 1900 PZ Points - Do you know this name? Well it is not necessarily surprising if you don't. She is the girl at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. She makes her debut on this list, and almost ascends to the top spot because it is almost impossible for the Committee to imagine that any person could ever make such an enormous impact in such a short time. The Committee wants to be clear about one thing, there are many losers in this scandal. However, there is only one winner according to the Committee: Ashley Alexandra Dupre. If she manages things wisely, she is absolutely set for life as a result of her part in this scandal. And she will likely be able to make choices that will gain her wealth that will not degrade her if she so chooses, such are the opportunities that will be presented to her. So why didn't Dupre ascend all the way to the top spot? Well, the Committee considered this little matter of her appearance at the age of seventeen in a Girls Gone Wild video. Now, the Committee does not penalize her for appearing in the video itself, the Committee penalizes her because she appeared in the video as a seventeen year old and it appears that this will in no way lead to the imprisonment of shady Girls Gone Wild CEO, Joe Francis. This may seem like it is harsh, but the Committee realizes that there is a lot of competition out there for the top spot in the Chase for the PopoZao.
19. Kevin Federline - 200 PZ Points - Kevin Federline takes a huge plunge in the rankings from his last position, less than a week after his thirtieth birthday. What would possess the Committee to drop Federline so far after a landmark birthday? Does the Committee feel that once you hit thirty, it is all over? The Commitee answers an emphatic NO to that last question. Then why did the Committee drop Federline so low in the rankings? Simply put, if you are booed off the stage at your own birthday party, you deserve to take a hit in these rankings. Getting booed off of the stage at your own birthday party will not get you the PopoZao. The Committee is still a little confused as to why there were any people present at Federline's birthday party to boo him off of the stage, however.
23. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points - What will it take to send this guy to jail for good?
40. People who attended Kevin Federline's birthday party - -1900 PZ Points - The Committee is wondering what you people were thinking in the first place. You had nothing better to do than go to Kevin Federline's birthday party? Nothing? This was the scene to be seen? Ridiculous. And when Kevin Federline came on to the stage, how did you expect things to go? Were you expecting a tour de force performance? The only way that the Committee could possibly consider forgiving you for your obvious lack of judgment would be if you claim that you went there knowing that the guy is a hack and that you just wanted to boo him. However, that explanation does not fly since you likely had to pay to get into the party. (How else are they going to come up with the appearance fee that Federline required to attend his own birthday party?) People, you should never, ever, ever be paying money to see Kevin Federline.
41. Dr. Phil - -2000 PZ Points - Though there is no confirmation whatsoever, the Committee just assumes that Dr. Phil attended Kevin Federline's birthday party. As a result, Dr. Phil bottoms out the Chase for the PopoZao rankings once again.
Current Chase for the PopoZao Standings as of March 27, 2008:
1. Kevin Federline - 4100 PopoZao Points
2. Amy Winehouse - 3300 PZ Points
4. Britney Spears - 2700 PZ Points
6. Jamie Lynn Spears - 2000 PZ Points
7(tie). Ryan Seacrest and Ashley Alexandra Dupre - 1900 PZ Points
10. Tom Brady - 1500 PZ Points
32. Blake Fielder-Civil - 100 PZ Points
35. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points
43. Jessica Simpson - -900 PZ Points
44. Tony Romo - -1100 PZ Points
51. The Early Show - -2000 PZ Points
78. Dr. Phil - -5900 PZ Points
Friday, March 14, 2008
Just let Grundy Lead the Legion
Okay, so once again I made what was probably a huge mistake and I watched one of the old Superfriends episodes. (Yes, I am extremely addicted to the Boomerang network.) Now, this particular episode was titled "The World's Deadliest Game," and the plot was about as stupid as one might guess.
The episode begins with a scene from within the Legion of Doom, and what were all of these supervillains doing? If you guessed plotting the destruction of the Superfriends, then give yourself a standing ovation. Yes, I said give yourself a standing ovation and not a mere pat on the back. That was a tough question to answer.
Now Solomon Grundy was the first person to speak, blabbering something completely nonsensical. Truly if you are the Legion of Doom, at what point do you realize that it makes absolutely no sense to have an idiot zombie at your evil planning meetings? After Grundy said whatever it is that he said, and thankfully it seemed that most if not all of the Legion of Doom acted as if Grundy did not even say anything, Brainiac came up with a simply brilliant plan. He (or it, since Brainiac is a computer after all) noticed that Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan were in space helping to repair a space station. Brainiac decided that he would use his cloaking device to make the Earth seem to disappear from those three Superfriends. At this point, the Toy Man chimed in and said they would then send some sort of distress signal that would lead the three to think that the Earth was light-years away, causing the Superfriends to journey to a planet covered with Toy Man's toys. And then after this, it was the Riddler's turn to tell everyone that he would use a series of riddles to lead the other Superfriends "out of the universe" where their three comrades were located. It was a brilliant plan, and it almost worked because I've noticed that the Superfriends somehow collectively start out every episode even stupider than the Legion of Doom, but seem to have a very steep learning curve that takes roughly fifteen minutes to traverse.
So Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan do get very confused when the Earth disappears and they get tricked into pursuing the false distress signal light-years away. And when they get out to the place from where the signal is emanating, wouldn't you guess it, they get sucked into a black hole. I'm going to try to keep the physics talk to a minimum here, and I'll allow for the Superfriends to actually survive this fall into the black hole. However, once again, as I have pointed out before about some of these Superfriends type shows, there are some inconsistencies that I think are horrendous.
First of all, I guess that I'll allow for the possibility that Black Vulcan can fly faster than the speed of light because otherwise the Legion of Doom would have had to wait longer than the length of time that the Superfriends aired to even see if this stupid plan was going to work considering that this fake distress signal was coming from light-years away. Once inside the black hole and on the planet of toys, Black Vulcan noted that even he wasn't able to escape the black hole's pull flying at full speed. Okay, I'll go along with this, I guess. Black Vulcan can fly faster than the speed of light, but just not fast enough to escape the black hole. I guess this is possible in theory. (Actually it isn't possible in theory to fly faster than the speed of light, but I suppose it is possible in Superfriends theory.) However, what is truly troubling is that while these Superfriends are being pestered by Toy Man's toys, Toy Man is able to monitor what is transpiring on the planet and control the toys remotely from Earth. Let me say that again. He is able see things precisely as they are happening light-years away, hear exactly what the Superfriends are saying, and provide near instantaneous remote controls to the toys. I'm sorry, but this is absolutely ludicrous. To me you cannot force Black Vulcan to be kind of, sort of bound by the laws of physics, but then allow Toy Man's planning to more egregiously violate those laws. (By the way, how did Toy Man even set up his planet of toys in the first place? And when did he set up this planet?)
Okay, so I'll skip most of Riddler nonsense, but in short, the rest of the Superfriends find themselves light-years away in outer space very near to the black hole. Superman and Green Lantern realize that they are the only ones powerful enough to venture into the black hole to save the others. This should have been bad news for the rest of the Superfriends not venturing into the black hole since Green Lantern was using his power ring to transport them through space and protect them from the vacuum, but whatever I guess... So Superman and Green Lantern fly into the black hole, they do some sort of trick where they combine powers (meaning that there is some sort of creepy fusing of the two), and then the Superman/Green Lantern super super being flies out of the black hole, telling the other three to wait three seconds before following him/them out. I'm not sure why they were told to wait three seconds to follow Green Superman Lantern out of the black hole. It makes little sense, and besides, they could have just as easily given this new Superman/Green Lantern fused being the power to just teleport Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan into the Legion of Doom headquarters, but I guess that would have seemed implausible. Once everyone is outside the black hole, somehow the black hole seems to just explode or dematerialize.
Then the Superfriends all fly back to Earth where they stop the Legion of Doom as they were in the process of collecting all of the world's money from the terrified populace. My question is this, if you are an overtly evil organization like the Legion of Doom, why do you even need money for anything? Are you going to acquire this money and then use it to pay for the supplies you might need to carry out your evil schemes? Or will you just go and steal the supplies you need for your evil schemes?
Wow, cartoon writers had tremendous talent back in those days!
The episode begins with a scene from within the Legion of Doom, and what were all of these supervillains doing? If you guessed plotting the destruction of the Superfriends, then give yourself a standing ovation. Yes, I said give yourself a standing ovation and not a mere pat on the back. That was a tough question to answer.
Now Solomon Grundy was the first person to speak, blabbering something completely nonsensical. Truly if you are the Legion of Doom, at what point do you realize that it makes absolutely no sense to have an idiot zombie at your evil planning meetings? After Grundy said whatever it is that he said, and thankfully it seemed that most if not all of the Legion of Doom acted as if Grundy did not even say anything, Brainiac came up with a simply brilliant plan. He (or it, since Brainiac is a computer after all) noticed that Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan were in space helping to repair a space station. Brainiac decided that he would use his cloaking device to make the Earth seem to disappear from those three Superfriends. At this point, the Toy Man chimed in and said they would then send some sort of distress signal that would lead the three to think that the Earth was light-years away, causing the Superfriends to journey to a planet covered with Toy Man's toys. And then after this, it was the Riddler's turn to tell everyone that he would use a series of riddles to lead the other Superfriends "out of the universe" where their three comrades were located. It was a brilliant plan, and it almost worked because I've noticed that the Superfriends somehow collectively start out every episode even stupider than the Legion of Doom, but seem to have a very steep learning curve that takes roughly fifteen minutes to traverse.
So Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan do get very confused when the Earth disappears and they get tricked into pursuing the false distress signal light-years away. And when they get out to the place from where the signal is emanating, wouldn't you guess it, they get sucked into a black hole. I'm going to try to keep the physics talk to a minimum here, and I'll allow for the Superfriends to actually survive this fall into the black hole. However, once again, as I have pointed out before about some of these Superfriends type shows, there are some inconsistencies that I think are horrendous.
First of all, I guess that I'll allow for the possibility that Black Vulcan can fly faster than the speed of light because otherwise the Legion of Doom would have had to wait longer than the length of time that the Superfriends aired to even see if this stupid plan was going to work considering that this fake distress signal was coming from light-years away. Once inside the black hole and on the planet of toys, Black Vulcan noted that even he wasn't able to escape the black hole's pull flying at full speed. Okay, I'll go along with this, I guess. Black Vulcan can fly faster than the speed of light, but just not fast enough to escape the black hole. I guess this is possible in theory. (Actually it isn't possible in theory to fly faster than the speed of light, but I suppose it is possible in Superfriends theory.) However, what is truly troubling is that while these Superfriends are being pestered by Toy Man's toys, Toy Man is able to monitor what is transpiring on the planet and control the toys remotely from Earth. Let me say that again. He is able see things precisely as they are happening light-years away, hear exactly what the Superfriends are saying, and provide near instantaneous remote controls to the toys. I'm sorry, but this is absolutely ludicrous. To me you cannot force Black Vulcan to be kind of, sort of bound by the laws of physics, but then allow Toy Man's planning to more egregiously violate those laws. (By the way, how did Toy Man even set up his planet of toys in the first place? And when did he set up this planet?)
Okay, so I'll skip most of Riddler nonsense, but in short, the rest of the Superfriends find themselves light-years away in outer space very near to the black hole. Superman and Green Lantern realize that they are the only ones powerful enough to venture into the black hole to save the others. This should have been bad news for the rest of the Superfriends not venturing into the black hole since Green Lantern was using his power ring to transport them through space and protect them from the vacuum, but whatever I guess... So Superman and Green Lantern fly into the black hole, they do some sort of trick where they combine powers (meaning that there is some sort of creepy fusing of the two), and then the Superman/Green Lantern super super being flies out of the black hole, telling the other three to wait three seconds before following him/them out. I'm not sure why they were told to wait three seconds to follow Green Superman Lantern out of the black hole. It makes little sense, and besides, they could have just as easily given this new Superman/Green Lantern fused being the power to just teleport Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Black Vulcan into the Legion of Doom headquarters, but I guess that would have seemed implausible. Once everyone is outside the black hole, somehow the black hole seems to just explode or dematerialize.
Then the Superfriends all fly back to Earth where they stop the Legion of Doom as they were in the process of collecting all of the world's money from the terrified populace. My question is this, if you are an overtly evil organization like the Legion of Doom, why do you even need money for anything? Are you going to acquire this money and then use it to pay for the supplies you might need to carry out your evil schemes? Or will you just go and steal the supplies you need for your evil schemes?
Wow, cartoon writers had tremendous talent back in those days!
Ranking the James Bond Actors
I've decided that in preparation for the upcoming James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace (scheduled to be released November 7), it is the perfect time for me to provide the definitive ranking of the actors who have played the James Bond character in the several movies. And unlike the crazy lunatic hacks on the committee that compiles the rankings for the Chase for the PopoZao, I shall do these rankings the way they should be properly done: last to first. And so, without further hesitation, here are the rankings of the actors who have played James Bond on film.
6. Roger Moore - Of all the actors who have played the James Bond character, I have come to the conclusion that Roger Moore played the role far and away worse than any of the others. Truly, were any of the other actors less believable as a tough guy or secret agent or combination of the two? Though I found some of Moore's movies entertaining, I never got the sense that the guy could in any way be considered suave. And I certainly found it unrealistic any time he won any fight. He just seemed to be too much of a stiff weakling to me to beat anyone up. And yes, I actually believe that if I had no prior knowledge before watching The Man with the Golden Gun about anything related to James Bond, I would have put a huge sum of money on Tattoo to beat Moore in a fight.
5. George Lazenby - Admittedly, I have seen the entirety of not one of Lazenby's Bond movies, which is somewhat unfortunate since he only made one Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service. But one has to believe that he could not have been too spectacular if he only had a run of a single film. One can make the claim that maybe he wasn't so bad; maybe people just really thought that Sean Connery was so great that they were dying to have come back and resume the secret agent role. But since Lazenby is Australian, I tend to doubt that this is true. And so Lazenby comes in at number five. Though my exposure to Lazenby as the Bond character is very limited, I have seen enough to know that he could not possibly be as bad as Roger Moore.
4. Timothy Dalton - There was a time when I believed some of the reports about how bad Dalton was as Bond. I believed it when some claimed that Dalton was the worst Bond. However, after watching the Dalton movies, I realized that he wasn't all that bad. He certainly seemed to be a much tougher guy than Moore. In watching his movies, I honestly believed that he was the sort that might have been able to save the day, not the sort that should be serving as a waiter at a wine and cheese party (Moore).
3. Pierce Brosnan - I don't really have much bad to say about Brosnan. His very first scene in his very first Bond movie, Goldeneye, was actually pretty outstanding. He was very believable there and elsewhere. Also, Brosnan has great hair. This is something that I think that we should all ask for in James Bond, great hair. Brosnan doesn't go to a higher level than number three mostly because his James Bond would have lost badly in a fight to the two ranked above him. He certainly could have beaten Roger Moore's Bond in a fight, but that fact does not earn a person any points in these rankings. He also loses a few points because his last two Bond films were absolutely atrocious.
2. Sean Connery - You may be shocked that I have Connery ranked in a position other than first, but trust me, this is no accident. Connery was extremely good at the character. He was cool - nothing says cool better than the way Connery replied when asked his name at the gambling table in Dr. No. And very importantly, he was highly capable of beating people up. Yes, in case you have not noticed, I highly value the "beating people up" capability in judging the adequacy of an actor portraying James Bond. But also in truth, Connery did not seem to have any real weaknesses as the Bond character. Even when he came back for Diamonds are Forever, he seemed to be infinitely tougher than Moore ever appeared to be in the role.
1. Daniel Craig - Quite frankly, Daniel Craig proved in Casino Royale that he is a tough guy. The amount of people that he beat up in that movie alone was incredible. What places him ahead of Connery is that he actually ran through a wall in Casino Royale. Now I don't know if I necessarily agree with the decision he made to quit the secret service for the girl in the movie (and I don't agree with it) because this action would have likely severely reduced the amount of beatings he would be given the opportunity to dish out. However, luckily enough, his retirement from duty was rather short lived. Whereas Moore's Bond constantly tried to avoid Jaws in the movies in which Jaws appeared, Craig's Bond probably would have punched through Jaws's metal teeth. And as endings of Bond movies go, nothing surpasses the way Casino Royale finished up. For all of these reasons, Craig gets the top spot. Bring on Quantum of Solace!
6. Roger Moore - Of all the actors who have played the James Bond character, I have come to the conclusion that Roger Moore played the role far and away worse than any of the others. Truly, were any of the other actors less believable as a tough guy or secret agent or combination of the two? Though I found some of Moore's movies entertaining, I never got the sense that the guy could in any way be considered suave. And I certainly found it unrealistic any time he won any fight. He just seemed to be too much of a stiff weakling to me to beat anyone up. And yes, I actually believe that if I had no prior knowledge before watching The Man with the Golden Gun about anything related to James Bond, I would have put a huge sum of money on Tattoo to beat Moore in a fight.
5. George Lazenby - Admittedly, I have seen the entirety of not one of Lazenby's Bond movies, which is somewhat unfortunate since he only made one Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service. But one has to believe that he could not have been too spectacular if he only had a run of a single film. One can make the claim that maybe he wasn't so bad; maybe people just really thought that Sean Connery was so great that they were dying to have come back and resume the secret agent role. But since Lazenby is Australian, I tend to doubt that this is true. And so Lazenby comes in at number five. Though my exposure to Lazenby as the Bond character is very limited, I have seen enough to know that he could not possibly be as bad as Roger Moore.
4. Timothy Dalton - There was a time when I believed some of the reports about how bad Dalton was as Bond. I believed it when some claimed that Dalton was the worst Bond. However, after watching the Dalton movies, I realized that he wasn't all that bad. He certainly seemed to be a much tougher guy than Moore. In watching his movies, I honestly believed that he was the sort that might have been able to save the day, not the sort that should be serving as a waiter at a wine and cheese party (Moore).
3. Pierce Brosnan - I don't really have much bad to say about Brosnan. His very first scene in his very first Bond movie, Goldeneye, was actually pretty outstanding. He was very believable there and elsewhere. Also, Brosnan has great hair. This is something that I think that we should all ask for in James Bond, great hair. Brosnan doesn't go to a higher level than number three mostly because his James Bond would have lost badly in a fight to the two ranked above him. He certainly could have beaten Roger Moore's Bond in a fight, but that fact does not earn a person any points in these rankings. He also loses a few points because his last two Bond films were absolutely atrocious.
2. Sean Connery - You may be shocked that I have Connery ranked in a position other than first, but trust me, this is no accident. Connery was extremely good at the character. He was cool - nothing says cool better than the way Connery replied when asked his name at the gambling table in Dr. No. And very importantly, he was highly capable of beating people up. Yes, in case you have not noticed, I highly value the "beating people up" capability in judging the adequacy of an actor portraying James Bond. But also in truth, Connery did not seem to have any real weaknesses as the Bond character. Even when he came back for Diamonds are Forever, he seemed to be infinitely tougher than Moore ever appeared to be in the role.
1. Daniel Craig - Quite frankly, Daniel Craig proved in Casino Royale that he is a tough guy. The amount of people that he beat up in that movie alone was incredible. What places him ahead of Connery is that he actually ran through a wall in Casino Royale. Now I don't know if I necessarily agree with the decision he made to quit the secret service for the girl in the movie (and I don't agree with it) because this action would have likely severely reduced the amount of beatings he would be given the opportunity to dish out. However, luckily enough, his retirement from duty was rather short lived. Whereas Moore's Bond constantly tried to avoid Jaws in the movies in which Jaws appeared, Craig's Bond probably would have punched through Jaws's metal teeth. And as endings of Bond movies go, nothing surpasses the way Casino Royale finished up. For all of these reasons, Craig gets the top spot. Bring on Quantum of Solace!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Darth Vader: The Chosen One
At the conclusion of the duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and the newly christened Darth Vader in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, after Kenobi had proven to be victorious, Kenobi had this to say to a a writhing Vader:
You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!
According to the words spoken by Kenobi, one might be led to believe that the prophesy had not been fulfilled, but upon closer inspection, one should conclude otherwise. At the time of Episode I: The Phantom Menace, only the most ardent of Sith devotees could claim that the Force was in any way balanced, at least from the perspective of Dark side strength versus Light side strength in the galaxy.
There was a reason that Episode I was titled as it was. The Sith menace to the galaxy was something that was largely hidden. It was the phantom menace after all. On the other hand, the Jedi were thriving. The Jedi had a veritable who's who on their Jedi Council. There was Master Yoda, Master Mace Windu, Master Adi Gallia, and, dare I say it, Master Saesee Tiin! In addition to this murderers' row of Jedi Masters (oh, and you better believe there were more than just these few that I've named!), there were a host of Jedi Knights, Jedi Padawans, and even some Jedi Younglings (a younger class of Padawans). And then of course, the Jedi had their swanky Jedi Temple and Jedi Council chambers on Coruscant. The Sith were essentially thought to be extinct by the Jedi at this point in time.
As powerful as Darth Sidious would prove to be by the end of Episode III, and as skilled as Darth Maul was in showing his ability to simultaneously take on Qui-Gon Jinn and Kenobi in Episode I, there is no way that this Sith duo could have prevailed in an open conflict versus all of the Jedi. Even in Episodes II and III when the more powerful Darth Tyranus joins Sidious, the two would not have been a legitimate match for the Jedi. It is only in weeding out the Jedi numbers that one can make the claim that the force is in balance: the Dark side is as strong as the Light side.
Anakin Skywalker, in becoming Darth Vader, helped this to come about. By intervening as Master Windu was on the verge of killing Lord Sidious, by leading an army of clones into the Jedi Temple to defeat Jedi that might be within, and with the assistance of Order 66, Skywalker/Vader did bring balance to the Force. Was there ever a greater balance between the Light side of the Force and the Dark side than there was during the juxtaposed climactic duel between Kenobi and Vader and the climactic duel between Yoda and Sidious? In watching the duels, if you did not know for a fact how the story had to end, you could envision either duel resulting in either combatant winning.
As for the other part of the prophesy, Skywalker did eventually aid in the destruction of the Sith. It is true that his part in the destruction of the Sith only occurred after he had joined their numbers, but in turning from his master and going to the aid of his son in Episode VI, Anakin Skywalker did finally complete the fulfillment of the prophesy that he would destroy the Sith and that he would bring balance to the Force, if not in that proper order.
You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!
According to the words spoken by Kenobi, one might be led to believe that the prophesy had not been fulfilled, but upon closer inspection, one should conclude otherwise. At the time of Episode I: The Phantom Menace, only the most ardent of Sith devotees could claim that the Force was in any way balanced, at least from the perspective of Dark side strength versus Light side strength in the galaxy.
There was a reason that Episode I was titled as it was. The Sith menace to the galaxy was something that was largely hidden. It was the phantom menace after all. On the other hand, the Jedi were thriving. The Jedi had a veritable who's who on their Jedi Council. There was Master Yoda, Master Mace Windu, Master Adi Gallia, and, dare I say it, Master Saesee Tiin! In addition to this murderers' row of Jedi Masters (oh, and you better believe there were more than just these few that I've named!), there were a host of Jedi Knights, Jedi Padawans, and even some Jedi Younglings (a younger class of Padawans). And then of course, the Jedi had their swanky Jedi Temple and Jedi Council chambers on Coruscant. The Sith were essentially thought to be extinct by the Jedi at this point in time.
As powerful as Darth Sidious would prove to be by the end of Episode III, and as skilled as Darth Maul was in showing his ability to simultaneously take on Qui-Gon Jinn and Kenobi in Episode I, there is no way that this Sith duo could have prevailed in an open conflict versus all of the Jedi. Even in Episodes II and III when the more powerful Darth Tyranus joins Sidious, the two would not have been a legitimate match for the Jedi. It is only in weeding out the Jedi numbers that one can make the claim that the force is in balance: the Dark side is as strong as the Light side.
Anakin Skywalker, in becoming Darth Vader, helped this to come about. By intervening as Master Windu was on the verge of killing Lord Sidious, by leading an army of clones into the Jedi Temple to defeat Jedi that might be within, and with the assistance of Order 66, Skywalker/Vader did bring balance to the Force. Was there ever a greater balance between the Light side of the Force and the Dark side than there was during the juxtaposed climactic duel between Kenobi and Vader and the climactic duel between Yoda and Sidious? In watching the duels, if you did not know for a fact how the story had to end, you could envision either duel resulting in either combatant winning.
As for the other part of the prophesy, Skywalker did eventually aid in the destruction of the Sith. It is true that his part in the destruction of the Sith only occurred after he had joined their numbers, but in turning from his master and going to the aid of his son in Episode VI, Anakin Skywalker did finally complete the fulfillment of the prophesy that he would destroy the Sith and that he would bring balance to the Force, if not in that proper order.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Roger Clemens: The Saga Continues - February 26, 2008
It's been a couple of weeks since Roger Clemens's testimony before a House of Representatives committee, and so I thought that it would be a good idea to check back to see how things are going for the Rocket. Well, it seems that things are looking up for Roger since his oldest son Koby says that old Rog will be reporting to the Astros spring training camp - eventually.
I for one am glad to hear that things are turning around for Roger Clemens. The fact that such a great person like Roger Clemens is able to put these silly charges behind him and move on with his life is really uplifting. I was feeling a little depressed earlier this week, but once I heard the news that Roger would be reporting to the Astros spring training camp (eventually), my excitement could barely be controlled!
And then suddenly I woke from my nightmare and realized that the committee that heard the testimony was not controlled by a group of Roger Clemens's sycophants, in this case, mostly Republicans, but was controlled by Democrats who for the most part did not behave in Clemens's presence in the equivalent manner as a bunch of late 1990s preschoolers might when Barney & Friends came on. And then I heard the wonderful news that there is a chance that a criminal investigation may be launched as a result of Clemens's testimony in front of the committee. I know that it is a little early to get excited, but let's keep our fingers crossed.
And congratulations Roger! You have now earned your very own label!
I for one am glad to hear that things are turning around for Roger Clemens. The fact that such a great person like Roger Clemens is able to put these silly charges behind him and move on with his life is really uplifting. I was feeling a little depressed earlier this week, but once I heard the news that Roger would be reporting to the Astros spring training camp (eventually), my excitement could barely be controlled!
And then suddenly I woke from my nightmare and realized that the committee that heard the testimony was not controlled by a group of Roger Clemens's sycophants, in this case, mostly Republicans, but was controlled by Democrats who for the most part did not behave in Clemens's presence in the equivalent manner as a bunch of late 1990s preschoolers might when Barney & Friends came on. And then I heard the wonderful news that there is a chance that a criminal investigation may be launched as a result of Clemens's testimony in front of the committee. I know that it is a little early to get excited, but let's keep our fingers crossed.
And congratulations Roger! You have now earned your very own label!
Monday, February 25, 2008
Before There was a New Batch
As everyone knows by now, the Academy Awards were handed out yesterday evening. There were some surprise winners, and some awards went precisely where most people expected. And showing my talent for timing things perfectly, I turned to the channel on which the Academy Awards were being broadcast just in time to see No Country for Old Men win the award for best picture. Perfect timing.
Generally I don't watch any of these awards shows. The Academy Awards would tend to be the exception, as I am far more likely to watch this program than any of the other shows. And since I watched roughly two minutes of the Academy Awards, and since this total time dwarfed the amount of time combined that I have spent watching all other awards shows this year, there is very little of substance that I can say about this year's editions of those programs. However, using the Academy Awards as inspiration, and based on the overwhelming success that I had the last time I wrote about a movie (and please ignore the foolish comments), I wish to discuss the movie Gremlins.
Now some time ago (in a different space) I discussed this very topic. There is something about the movie Gremlins that disturbs me greatly. And of course what bothers me about the movie centers around the rules governing the mogwai. The first rule I don't really care about, never expose the mogwai to the sun or bright light, or it will die. Okay, I get this one; I have no complaints here. But the second rule is never get them wet. What exactly does this mean? Does it mean that a mogwai could not stroll the streets of Houston, TX because it is always so ridiculously humid that you feel like taking a shower each time you step out of your car (at least during the months of March through November). So is the humidity in the air not sufficient enough to get the mogwai wet? And does this mean that a mogwai can never take a drink of water for fear of reproducing? And let's go another step further. What happens if the mogwai is wet by Kool-Aid or by Olde English 800? These are very important unanswered questions if I do say so myself. (And I do.)
But of course this brings me to the stupidest rule of them all, never feed the mogwai after midnight. What exactly does this mean? It seems pretty clear that 12:01 am would count as after midnight and I suppose it would probably be bad to feed them at 12:13 am. But what about at say 4:45 am? This is still after midnight isn't it? And last I checked, 1:33 pm is still technically after midnight as well. So when can you and when can you not feed the little monsters? And what happens when the mogwai crosses into a different time zone? Let's say that the mogwai is in a part of Indiana that is near the time zone boundary. It's just after midnight in the Eastern Time Zone, but the mogwai feels like a late night snack. Can the mogwai walk across the street to the corner deli that is in the Central Time Zone and eat a sandwich without the fear of changing into a demon? Answer these questions for me if you please.
Generally I don't watch any of these awards shows. The Academy Awards would tend to be the exception, as I am far more likely to watch this program than any of the other shows. And since I watched roughly two minutes of the Academy Awards, and since this total time dwarfed the amount of time combined that I have spent watching all other awards shows this year, there is very little of substance that I can say about this year's editions of those programs. However, using the Academy Awards as inspiration, and based on the overwhelming success that I had the last time I wrote about a movie (and please ignore the foolish comments), I wish to discuss the movie Gremlins.
Now some time ago (in a different space) I discussed this very topic. There is something about the movie Gremlins that disturbs me greatly. And of course what bothers me about the movie centers around the rules governing the mogwai. The first rule I don't really care about, never expose the mogwai to the sun or bright light, or it will die. Okay, I get this one; I have no complaints here. But the second rule is never get them wet. What exactly does this mean? Does it mean that a mogwai could not stroll the streets of Houston, TX because it is always so ridiculously humid that you feel like taking a shower each time you step out of your car (at least during the months of March through November). So is the humidity in the air not sufficient enough to get the mogwai wet? And does this mean that a mogwai can never take a drink of water for fear of reproducing? And let's go another step further. What happens if the mogwai is wet by Kool-Aid or by Olde English 800? These are very important unanswered questions if I do say so myself. (And I do.)
But of course this brings me to the stupidest rule of them all, never feed the mogwai after midnight. What exactly does this mean? It seems pretty clear that 12:01 am would count as after midnight and I suppose it would probably be bad to feed them at 12:13 am. But what about at say 4:45 am? This is still after midnight isn't it? And last I checked, 1:33 pm is still technically after midnight as well. So when can you and when can you not feed the little monsters? And what happens when the mogwai crosses into a different time zone? Let's say that the mogwai is in a part of Indiana that is near the time zone boundary. It's just after midnight in the Eastern Time Zone, but the mogwai feels like a late night snack. Can the mogwai walk across the street to the corner deli that is in the Central Time Zone and eat a sandwich without the fear of changing into a demon? Answer these questions for me if you please.
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