Welcome! (I guess...)

For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Chase for the PopoZao - January 31, 2008

Here are the finishing results from the most recent Chase for the PopoZao race. As always, first place votes appear in parentheses. The Chase is on!

Previous PopoZao Finish

PopoZao Finish - January 31, 2008

1. Kevin Federline (3) - 2000 PopoZao Points - Kevin Federline is in the position where many people believe he should have been all along: first place in PopoZao Finish. Since the last Chase for the PopoZao race, Federline has already made his triumphant appearance on the hit television show One Tree Hill. And by hit, the Committee is using the word in relative terms because One Tree Hill is a hit show for the CW network. And how has Kevin Federline affected the ratings for One Tree Hill? Well, in a word, fabulistically! The fifth season of One Tree Hill premiered on January 8, 2008 with two episodes. The first of those episodes got a rating of 2.3 and a share of 4. For those unaware of what this means, it means that on average, 2.3 percent of televisions in the US were tuned to this program during the time that it was on, and over the entire length of the show, 4 percent of the televisions had tuned to the program at some point. That awesome work. In fact, by beating one show in ratings for that night and fifteen in ratings for that week, it ended up finishing twelfth out of thirteen in ratings for that night and eightieth out of ninety-five in ratings for that week! The second of those episodes got a 2.4 rating and the same 4 share, finishing tenth out of thirteen for that night and seventy-sixth out of ninety-five for the week. That's some great momentum! Could Kevin Federline keep the momentum up? What momentum?!?!? The two episodes in which the star in the making has starred have had ratings/shares of 1.8/3 and 2.0/3. For those who are not very good with the math, that means that on average roughly one in fifty-six televisions were tuned in during his first episode, while one in fifty on average were tuned in during the second. Each of the shows finished eleventh out of twelfth on that given night. Don't fret though, Kevin Federline fans, the shows almost certainly would have finished higher those nights if they had other episodes of One Tree Hill on with which to compete. And cheer up, at least he is not his ex-wife!

2. Ryan Seacrest - 1900 PZ Points - Ryan Seacrest finishes at a strong number two in this Chase race because the seventh season of American Idol premiered on January 15 and though the Committee does not believe he has any discernible talent, his large number of projects mean that he is likely to be most in the news amongst the American Idol personalities...until Paula Abdul comes anywhere close to a corner convenience store or a pharmacy.

6. Tom Brady - 1500 PZ Points - "Oh, Tom Brady is so good looking!" "Oh, Tom Brady is a perfect quarterback!" "Oh, Tom Brady is without a doubt the best quarterback ever!" "Oh, Tom Brady singlehandedly won three Super Bowls!" "Oh, Tom Brady could solve global warming!" And these are the types of quotes you are likely to hear from male sportswriters. Since all of these statements are clearly true, the Committee believed that Brady was certainly a worthy competitor in the Chase for the PopoZao. And if it were not for the fact that Brady had been seen walking around in a boot after allegedly spraining his ankle in the AFC Championship Game, the Committee would have likely already awarded him the crown in the Chase. You may breathe a sigh of relief, everyone else, for the Chase is still on!

18. Britney Spears - 300 PZ Points - Why does the Committee really need to say anything about Spears anymore? In case you were not watching The Early Show on CBS and you missed the breaking news story that they led with this morning, Britney Spears was taken to the hospital once again. Why? Because she's out of her mind. You know it's true, the Committee knows it's true, so the crazy situation should just be left alone, right? Ha, gotcha! The answer is wrong because apparently Britney Spears is worth up to $120 million to the US economy. Clearly, this saga will not end well. Where will Spears finish in the next Chase for the PopoZao race? Here's a hint, just follow the trend...

26. Jessica Simpson - -500 PZ Points - Off again, on again, off again, on again, it seems like the Committee is constantly getting updates about the relationship status between Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. The latest news suggests that the two are still on! And that's great news because it can only mean that the pair must each drop one spot in the rankings. Why?

27. Tony Romo - -600 PZ Points - ...Because in the eyes of the Committee, as long as these two remain a couple, they will remain coupled in the rankings. The Committee does not believe that Jessica Simpson has much talent, and so she does not stand to have many big jumps in the rankings. However, Tony Romo is the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys and has demonstrated Pro Bowl level talent. When the Committee heard that it had appeared that Romo had come to his senses and jettisoned Simpson, that was worth an immediate jump to number two or possibly a challenge to the top spot of the Chase. However, for erroneously getting the Committee's hopes up, Tony Romo takes a one spot plunge in this Chase for the PopoZao race.

40. Dr. Phil McGraw - -1900 PZ Points - One of the more improbable events has occurred as Dr. Phil McGraw has actually moved up a spot in this race. Have you regained consciousness? Good, now please continue reading. Mind you, the Committee did not move Dr. Phil up because he became any less of a hack in the minds of the Committee members - case in point his appearance on this morning's The Early Show to discuss the most recent Britney Spears hospitalization. But the Committee does not want to be too hard on Phil, since there was some progress that was made. This time Dr. Phil actually stayed away from the hospital (for now), and though he still did get plenty of television face time, the cameras shooting him were not his own. Which brings us to the last place finisher in this race in the Chase for the PopoZao...

41. The Early Show - -2000 PZ Points -Somehow while NBC's Today Show and ABC's Good Morning America were leading their broadcasts this morning with coverage of last night's Republican debate, CBS's The Early Show, as stated earlier, was leading with "breaking news" about a crazy person, Britney Spears, being taken off to the hospital. Now no member of the Committee actually watched this Republican debate as they are all sure, just as you probably are, that it was likely a real yawner, but seriously, you are faced with a choice of leading with coverage of an event that has some factor in the process of choosing the next President of the United States and leading with coverage of an insane, junkie, tabloid queen. If this is the grand idea as to how to make it out of third place in the ratings, then good luck. And, of course, the ultimate decision that solidified The Early Show's last place finish in this edition of the Chase for the PopoZao was the decision to have Dr. Phil appear on the show as well.

Current Chase for the PopoZao Standings as of January 31, 2008:
1. Kevin Federline - 3900 PopoZao Points
3. Jamie Lynn Spears - 2000 PZ Points
4. Ryan Seacrest - 1900 PZ Points
7(tie). Amy Winehouse and Tom Brady - 1500 PZ Points
19. Britney Spears - 700 PZ Points
28. Blake Fielder-Civil - 100 PZ Points
41. Jessica Simpson - -900 PZ Points
42. Tony Romo - -1100 PZ Points
50. The Early Show - -2000 PZ Points
63. Dr. Phil McGraw - -3900 PZ Points

No comments: