Yes! They're Back!

Good news everyone! Great television is back! In case you have yet to see it, I invite you all to watch the A&E hit program The Two Coreys. The show stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim (the two Coreys), and I guess it also stars Feldman's wife or something like that. I don't really know for sure since I haven't really watched the program, but I intend to do so. I mean, who hasn't been looking forward to a Feldman/Haim reunion?

I'm sorry, but that was about as long as I could keep up that charade. But seriously, who in their right minds is actually interested in seeing a reunion of these guys? Why should anyone care about how they will interact in the same house together? This show is pretty much a joke for a number of reasons. (Although, in truth, I am in no actual position to prove this since I have not, as stated above, watched the show.) Let's try a little exercise first:

Quick! Name a movie in which Corey Feldman has starred within the last ten years. You have ten minutes. Got one? Okay... Quick! Name a movie in which Corey Haim has starred within the last ten years. This one is a little harder (I think?), so I'll give you twenty minutes. Obviously this was no easy exercise, or if it was, I sincerely believe you are in need of serious help. The bottom line is this; who even cares what one of these Coreys is doing, let alone two?

These guys were somewhat relevant about twenty years ago. But do you know what the likely reason for their relevance was? It certainly wasn't because they were incredible acting prodigies. And it is extremely hard for me to imagine that these two could have ever been teen heartthrobs. No, the answer is really quite simple; they had the same stupid name! And the name was infrequent enough that idiot movie producers said to themselves, "you know, wouldn't it be cool if we put those two Coreys in a movie together?" It is very clear that if their names were John, or Michael, or James, no more air time would be wasted on these guys.

Get Ready for Man Band!

Yes, it is almost finally here! Have you ever lamented the premature demise of your favorite boyband? Well who hasn't?! Over the last decade or so we have been treated to a seemingly endless list of extraordinarily talented young men who formed musical acts known as boybands. Now sure, it was pretty clear that none of them were playing actual instruments, but these were boybands and no one ever said that boybands had to play instruments. Despite their across the board popularity, however, the boybands started to die out, leaving the genre almost extinct as of the present day. Never fear, though, help is on the way!

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Jordan Knight, Nick Carter, Justin Timberlake, and Nick Lachey, respectively from New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and 98 Degrees, formed a mega-boyband? Yes? No? Well wonder no longer because although Jordan Knight, Nick Carter, Justin Timberlake, and Nick Lachey apparently were not available (yes, it appears that even Nick Carter was busy with something else), you still get Bryan Abrams of Color Me Badd, Rich Cronin of LFO**, Chris Kirkpatrick of *NSYNC, and Jeff Timmons of 98 Degrees! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Man Band!!!! Err, Mission Man Band!

Scheduled to premiere on August 6 on The VH1, Mission Man Band will bring together those aforementioned megastars from our favorite boybands, only get this, they are not boys anymore. They are men, and thus we have a man band. Do you follow the logic? It's genius! This is the sort of ingenious idea that only the likes of Lou Pearlman could envision. However, I'm so excited about this that I cannot focus enough to read about what to expect from this show, and so I'll just predict what I think we can expect. First of all, the senior member of the group, Bryan Abrams, can be counted on to bring style and video choreography advice as displayed in his Color Me Badd days. And I can think of no one better than Rich Cronin to write the lyrics for every song that Man Band develops. We all know that he has displayed unparalleled lyrical talent in the past. And as for Chris Kirkpatrick and Jeff Timmons... Well, I'll be honest, I never would have possibly remembered their names (or Abrams and Cronin either for that matter) if not for this show, and I certainly can't tell you what they look like, but I can assure you that they will bring all the talent and star power to the table that one might expect out of former boyband members that you can't possibly name or identify.

So let's get set for Man Band! Man Band! Yeah!!!!!

**In the interest of full disclosure, my sister did once claim to have attended an LFO concert. However, this was during the height of their "popularity," and so there is no telling if she would actually admit to this currently if questioned/interrogated.