Yes! They're Back!

Good news everyone! Great television is back! In case you have yet to see it, I invite you all to watch the A&E hit program The Two Coreys. The show stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim (the two Coreys), and I guess it also stars Feldman's wife or something like that. I don't really know for sure since I haven't really watched the program, but I intend to do so. I mean, who hasn't been looking forward to a Feldman/Haim reunion?

I'm sorry, but that was about as long as I could keep up that charade. But seriously, who in their right minds is actually interested in seeing a reunion of these guys? Why should anyone care about how they will interact in the same house together? This show is pretty much a joke for a number of reasons. (Although, in truth, I am in no actual position to prove this since I have not, as stated above, watched the show.) Let's try a little exercise first:

Quick! Name a movie in which Corey Feldman has starred within the last ten years. You have ten minutes. Got one? Okay... Quick! Name a movie in which Corey Haim has starred within the last ten years. This one is a little harder (I think?), so I'll give you twenty minutes. Obviously this was no easy exercise, or if it was, I sincerely believe you are in need of serious help. The bottom line is this; who even cares what one of these Coreys is doing, let alone two?

These guys were somewhat relevant about twenty years ago. But do you know what the likely reason for their relevance was? It certainly wasn't because they were incredible acting prodigies. And it is extremely hard for me to imagine that these two could have ever been teen heartthrobs. No, the answer is really quite simple; they had the same stupid name! And the name was infrequent enough that idiot movie producers said to themselves, "you know, wouldn't it be cool if we put those two Coreys in a movie together?" It is very clear that if their names were John, or Michael, or James, no more air time would be wasted on these guys.