There are very few people who have not heard of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. As to whether this fact is a good thing or a bad thing is up to one's own interpretation. (It's a bad thing.) But with all that has been going on in the lives of these two very talented individuals, I thought that it would be worthwhile to periodically provide updates of the current rankings of the two. So, what follows are the current rankings between the two, with short explanations given for each. First place votes appear in parentheses.
Rankings for September 26, 2007
1. Kevin Federline (1) - After a one ranking absence from the top spot, Kevin Federline once again retakes the number one position. Considering that the Committee almost always ranks Federline number one, it is highly considering leaving him in this spot permanently. Or check that, the Committee has decided that instead of doing this, it will make things up about what Federline has been doing and see if what Britney Spears has been doing actually tops this. Loyal readers of the Spears-Federline Rankings will remember that the Committee tried this before, and was unsuccessful in finding a possible way that Britney Spears through her real actions could actually take the top spot. This time the Committee will go one step further and make things up that Federline has been doing while the entire Committee is completely drunk. Let's see, Kevin Federline was Tasered for stealing a bunny rabbit at a preschool? Okay, how about Kevin Federline has reforged the One Ring and become the evil Dark Lord Sauron reborn? Well, evil acts like this should certainly allow Britney Spears to move up to number one...
2. Britney Spears - Oh but no, Britney Spears's real life world is an utter disaster. It truly is amazing when drunken people cannot use their imaginations to come up with more damning evidence of a person's decline than real life evidence provides for another person. It has almost gotten to the point where the Committee is completely exhausted because of all of the meetings that have been taking place discussing new information on whatever it is that has become of Britney Spears's life. Train wreck cannot describe this any longer. Let's see, since the last rankings there have been allegations of drug use among other things by a former bodyguard, she has been ordered to undergo drug and alcohol tests to keep any custody of her kids, and she has been charged with hit-and-run while driving without a license. And only two weeks have passed since the last rankings! But never fear, at least someone (warning, unedited for language) has Spears's back. The Committee weeps for Ms. Spears...
The Committee will see you again with the new rankings...tomorrow?
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