I am back! Yes, I know that there are a fair amount of people out there that have probably missed me. No really, you don't have to admit it to me, I know that it's true. What, you may be asking, was the reason for this two-month long hiatus? Well it is because I am lazy - very, very lazy. But an equally valid question that you may be asking now is why am I writing now? You may be asking whether or not I have suddenly stopped being lazy. Is it one of your New Year's resolutions to stop being lazy Cabral? Of course you can probably answer this second question yourselves. Nonsense! Absolute rubbish! But the first question still remains, and the answer to this question is that there is a matter of incredible importance that requires my immediate attention.
And this matter concerns the recent inaugural balls that took place. Now I did watch a fair amount of the inaugural events that took place earlier in the day, but admittedly I lost interest in following what was going on closely as the hours of coverage reached into the double digits. When President and First Lady Obama were at the balls, every now and then I would look up and pay attention to what they were saying, but on the whole, I gave this portion of the programming little focus. It wasn't until Wednesday morning, January 21 that a horrible truth was revealed to me. Apparently at the Neighborhood Ball, the very first ball that the President and First Lady attended (I think) the DJ for the event was Nick Cannon... Nick Cannon?!
I just cannot comprehend this... Barack Obama, you have only a few short hours ago become the President of the United States and the first inaugural ball that you attend is DJ'ed by Nick Cannon? Okay, okay, okay, I know that there was likely at least one other thing on your mind leading up to inauguration day. You probably were not completely focused on who would be appearing at what balls on that evening, but come on, Mr. President, the ball was DJ'ed by Nick Cannon!
Perhaps President Obama is too nice of a guy; perhaps he is even a nicer guy than myself (a bit of a stretch, but you never know...), but I can imagine the following scenario taking place:
Aide: "Welcome to the Neighborhood Ball, Mr. President!"
President Obama: "Thank you so much, it is a pleasure to be here."
Aide: "If you or the First Lady should need anything at all, sir, we are here to help."
P. Obama: "I thank you; you are too kind... Wait a minute, who is that DJ'ing the ball?"
Aide: "Oh, that's Nick, sir!"
P. Obama: "Nick who? Nick Lachey?"
Aide: "No, sir, it's Nick Cannon."
P. Obama: "Wait, who's Nick Cannon?"
First Lady Obama: "Oh, I think that Nick Cannon is some D-list talent that some kids find hilarious for some reason."
Aide: "That's correct Ms. First Lady! Nick Cannon is hilarious!"
P. Obama: "Wait a minute, how did Nick Cannon get chosen? Did Biden do this? I knew I should have named him Secretary of State..."
Aide: "No, Mr. President, as you instructed, we're keeping the Vice President out of sight and muzzled. I believe it was Malia and Sasha who picked Nick Cannon."
P. Obama: "Sasha and Malia picked Nick Cannon?! That's it, they're not getting that dog now!"
F.L. Obama: "But dear, we promised. We can't have your presidency starting with you breaking promises so easily. Well, if you are going to break your promises, break the promises you made to the Republicans, not the ones you made to the kids."
P. Obama: "Hmm... You're right. The kids get to have the dog, but they're not going to see the next Hannah Montana movie."