Welcome! (I guess...)

For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Chronicles of El Scorpio - Escape from the Desolate Wasteland

There was once a man who was simply known as El Scorpio. (El Scorpio!) No ordinary man was El Scorpio (El Scorpio!) and the tale of his true origin is a legend best left for another time. He was possessed of a mystical stinger with which he could eject a powerful and incapacitating venom whenever he grew into a rage whilst defending against those who would oppose the peace loving peoples. He was El Scorpio! (El Scorpio!)

These are the Chronicles of El Scorpio! (El Scorpio!)

El Scorpio suddenly awakes to find himself in an unfamiliar, desolate land. His head aching, he stumbles to his feet trying desperately to remember where he is, or anything else for that matter. No luck. El Scorpio wanders alone… (El Scorpio!)

After what seems like weeks (but is really only a few hours) of solitary meandering, El Scorpio begins to feel the pangs of hunger and thirst. He struggles on for a while longer trying to ignore his growing need for sustenance, but realizes that his thirst must soon be quenched. Then for the first time in this little saga it appears as if fortune is no El Scorpio’s side as up ahead he sees a spring! (El Scorpio!)

El Scorpio runs (or more precisely, shuffles) toward the spring. He cannot help himself as he kneels down and gulps down big handfuls of water. After he has had enough, he sits down, palms behind him, with his knees bent and feet flat on the ground. El Scorpio sits like this a few seconds before he suddenly hears a sound behind him. (El Scorpio!)

El Scorpio looks up to see the cutest, furriest animals approaching him. They were not overly large, perhaps about two feet long with tails half that length, and they very much resembled hybridizations of hamsters and cats. One might refer to them as hamster-cats. As the hamster-cats approach, El Scorpio develops an almost insatiable childlike desire to pet the creatures. Just as he is reaching out his hand to pet one, the facial demeanor on the creature’s face changes markedly from cute and cuddly to vicious and menacing. The creature pounces on El Scorpio and is quickly joined by the others. (El Scorpio!)

El Scorpio struggles to fight the now scratching and biting monsters as he attempts to gain the distance necessary to unleash his dreaded stinger. He is successful in escaping a few yards away from their teeth and claws and chuckles to himself as he is about to fire the venom. “Say goodnight,” El Scorpio says. But then nothing. He tries to fire again, but again nothing happens. “Oh crap,” El Scorpio says as he turns to run away. (El Scorpio!)

El Scorpio runs with surprising speed as he attempts to escape and fend off his relentless predators. He does much zigzagging as an intentional destination is not on his mind for the moment. The vicious creatures are now almost upon him again, and he believes that this time he shall not be able to escape when suddenly, El Scorpio finds himself alone in a grand chamber. (El Scorpio!)

In the center of the room lay a small dais and in the center of the dais lay a stone and protruding from the center of the stone was a curious sword. El Scorpio approaches the dais and the sword. As he gets closer, he begins to be able to make out words that are written on the stone. As he reads the words to himself, a spirit seems to appear before him, saying those very same words to El Scorpio. (El Scorpio!)

“I am Main-Gauche! Take me and you shall have the power to fight through this desolate land!”

El Scorpio reaches for Main-Gauche just as Main-Gauche reaches for El Scorpio… (El Scorpio!)

To be continued…

Preview: Will El Scorpio succeed? Will the combination of El Scorpio and Main-Gauche navigate through this dangerous desolate land? Tune in next week to find the answers to those questions!