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For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Magua Chronicles: Magua Goes to the UN

Many people who are fans of classic American literature know Magua to be the major villain of James Fenimore Cooper's 19th Century novel The Last of the Mohicans. And for those of you (okay us) who have never read that novel, he is still known as a legendary villain because of the brilliant 1992 film version of Cooper's story. More than anything, Magua was a man of words, a master orator. Consider this famous quote by Magua from the film:

Magua: "When the Grey Hair is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Grey Hair will know his seed is wiped out forever."

Such manipulation of the spoken word! It makes one wonder how Magua would fare in other situations...

The scene: the United Nations General Assembly, October 12, 1960

Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev has just given a speech in which he inexplicably yelled out what was translated to mean "we will bury you," while angrily banging his removed shoe on his desk. The next person to speak is Special Assistant Ambassador to the United Nations, Magua.

Special Ambassador Magua: "The Shoe Stamper is a fool to stamp his shoe in Magua's presence. Magua was unable to bring his tomahawk in and so the blade still shines. Magua will eat the heart of the Shoe Stamper. Before he dies, Magua will put all of the Shoe Stamper's blood brothers under the knife so that they will be as the buffalo on the plains of this great land. Magua will now return to his seat."

And history will show that the strong stance of Special Assistant Ambassador to the United Nations, Magua, and his exceptional oratory skills ultimately led to the downfall of Nikita Khrushchev.

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