Welcome! (I guess...)

For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Spears-Federline Rankings - August 21, 2007

There are very few people who have not heard of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. As to whether this fact is a good thing or a bad thing is up to one's own interpretation. (It's a bad thing.) But with all that has been going on in the lives of these two very talented individuals, I thought that it would be worthwhile to periodically provide updates of the current rankings of the two. So, what follows are the current rankings between the two, with short explanations given for each. First place votes appear in parentheses.

Rankings for August 21, 2007

1. Kevin Federline (1) - After a controversial polling where it was unclear who really occupied the top spot, Kevin Federline responds to definitively take the number one ranking. However, it was not without a bit of a struggle. Federline mainly moves to the top spot due to the news of his imminent employment. While the committee was baffled that not a single actress appearing on the show One Tree Hill currently has a restraining order keeping Federline away, which would thus preclude him from actually setting foot on set, the committee also realized that it was unable to identify any of the actresses appearing on the show. And though the committee realizes that someone must actually watch this show, the committee was unable to at the time these rankings were published find anyone who would admit to being a fan. Ultimately, this should be considered analogous to a victory over weak competition.

2. Britney Spears - So considering Federline's questionable supporting evidence for holding the top spot, how did Ms. Spears not occupy that spot herself? Quite simply, using the same analogy, Spears's competition is somehow even weaker. Of course you must be questioning whether the committee has altogether lost it. "What could possibly be weaker than a gig on One Tree Hill?" you're saying, "No one watches that show." And you make a strong point, but the committee considered the rumor that Britney Spears is being considered for a part in Celebrity Apprentice. That would be quite formidable if she was going up against George Clooney or Catherine Zeta-Jones, but these two people have talent and viable careers. No, Spears is rumored to be potentially going up against a recently-released-from-jail, pseudo-celebrity who admitted to voting in the 2006 US Presidential election (Paris Hilton) and a probably-soon-to-be-headed-to-jail, probably-washed-up, former child star who is rumored to have quite the predilection for cocaine and booze (Lindsay Lohan). This is not really stiff competition for anyone who is not completely insane, but it is certainly unclear as to whether Spears would win this battle. It was an excellent effort by Spears, but she came up short this time.

This struggle is definitely heating up!

No comments: