Here are the finishing results from the most recent Chase for the PopoZao race. As always, first place votes appear in parentheses. The Chase is on!
Previous PopoZao Finish
PopoZao Finish - March 27, 2008
1. Britney Spears (2) - 2000 PopoZao Points - Britney is back! Britney Spears makes her first ever appearance at the top of the PopoZao rankings after an amazing comeback. Let's recap briefly the life that was Britney Spears until recently. She was an overrated popstar who decided that it was in her best interest to marry a former boy band backup dancer, she sort of came to her senses and dumped said former backup dancer, she then went completely insane according to anyone objectively looking at her life, and then she was completely worked in the child custody hearings with said former backup dancer. All of this brings us back to the present day. How has Spears rebounded? Well, the Committee has noticed that she has finally become a serviceable individual in Hollywood again. Case in point, there were two recent programs that featured Britney Spears. There was an episode of How I Met Your Mother and there was an episode of South Park. Now, as you might have guessed, the Committee is quite busy these days. The members had not the time to watch Spears in both of these programs and so the members flipped a coin and ended up settling on watching South Park. And the Committee jointly came to the conclusion that Britney was fabulous in the episode. (If you want to see it, watch it here.) The Committee can only assume that she was equally fabulous in the other program, which no one on the Committee has ever watched. For this huge comeback, and for the fact that Spears was recently placed under the custodianship of her father (translation: she once again got to receive an allowance!) - and who wouldn't want to go back to the simple days when our parents got to make all of the decisions for us?! - Britney Spears wins this race in the Chase for the PopoZao!
2. Ashley Alexandra Dupre (1) - 1900 PZ Points - Do you know this name? Well it is not necessarily surprising if you don't. She is the girl at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. She makes her debut on this list, and almost ascends to the top spot because it is almost impossible for the Committee to imagine that any person could ever make such an enormous impact in such a short time. The Committee wants to be clear about one thing, there are many losers in this scandal. However, there is only one winner according to the Committee: Ashley Alexandra Dupre. If she manages things wisely, she is absolutely set for life as a result of her part in this scandal. And she will likely be able to make choices that will gain her wealth that will not degrade her if she so chooses, such are the opportunities that will be presented to her. So why didn't Dupre ascend all the way to the top spot? Well, the Committee considered this little matter of her appearance at the age of seventeen in a Girls Gone Wild video. Now, the Committee does not penalize her for appearing in the video itself, the Committee penalizes her because she appeared in the video as a seventeen year old and it appears that this will in no way lead to the imprisonment of shady Girls Gone Wild CEO, Joe Francis. This may seem like it is harsh, but the Committee realizes that there is a lot of competition out there for the top spot in the Chase for the PopoZao.
19. Kevin Federline - 200 PZ Points - Kevin Federline takes a huge plunge in the rankings from his last position, less than a week after his thirtieth birthday. What would possess the Committee to drop Federline so far after a landmark birthday? Does the Committee feel that once you hit thirty, it is all over? The Commitee answers an emphatic NO to that last question. Then why did the Committee drop Federline so low in the rankings? Simply put, if you are booed off the stage at your own birthday party, you deserve to take a hit in these rankings. Getting booed off of the stage at your own birthday party will not get you the PopoZao. The Committee is still a little confused as to why there were any people present at Federline's birthday party to boo him off of the stage, however.
23. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points - What will it take to send this guy to jail for good?
40. People who attended Kevin Federline's birthday party - -1900 PZ Points - The Committee is wondering what you people were thinking in the first place. You had nothing better to do than go to Kevin Federline's birthday party? Nothing? This was the scene to be seen? Ridiculous. And when Kevin Federline came on to the stage, how did you expect things to go? Were you expecting a tour de force performance? The only way that the Committee could possibly consider forgiving you for your obvious lack of judgment would be if you claim that you went there knowing that the guy is a hack and that you just wanted to boo him. However, that explanation does not fly since you likely had to pay to get into the party. (How else are they going to come up with the appearance fee that Federline required to attend his own birthday party?) People, you should never, ever, ever be paying money to see Kevin Federline.
41. Dr. Phil - -2000 PZ Points - Though there is no confirmation whatsoever, the Committee just assumes that Dr. Phil attended Kevin Federline's birthday party. As a result, Dr. Phil bottoms out the Chase for the PopoZao rankings once again.
Current Chase for the PopoZao Standings as of March 27, 2008:
1. Kevin Federline - 4100 PopoZao Points
2. Amy Winehouse - 3300 PZ Points
4. Britney Spears - 2700 PZ Points
6. Jamie Lynn Spears - 2000 PZ Points
7(tie). Ryan Seacrest and Ashley Alexandra Dupre - 1900 PZ Points
10. Tom Brady - 1500 PZ Points
32. Blake Fielder-Civil - 100 PZ Points
35. Joe Francis - -200 PZ Points
43. Jessica Simpson - -900 PZ Points
44. Tony Romo - -1100 PZ Points
51. The Early Show - -2000 PZ Points
78. Dr. Phil - -5900 PZ Points