The Misadventures of the Fun Police: Naples, Italy

You've had it happen to you before; you take a little boy's ice cream cone and run around laughing because you know he can't catch you until some adult comes out and scolds you, telling you to give the boy back his ice cream, or you're having a perfectly good time swatting butterflies with your suit jacket on the roof of the church until your mom scolds you and tells you to come down off of the roof. These are both perfect examples of the Fun Police getting in the way of good natured fun. Allow me to give you a recent example of the Fun Police striking again...

It seems that there are some good people from the Walt Disney Company and Warner Bros. who have taken/may take it upon themselves not to embarrass some other people more than they already have been embarrassed at this point. Apparently, a court in Naples, Italy has brought a case against a Chinese man accused of counterfeiting products of Disney and Warner Bros. And included among the star witnesses for the prosecution are Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, and Tweety Bird. This is the sort of thing that no one can actually make up. This incident provided the opportunity for both Disney and Warner Bros. to endear themselves to an older audience. Nothing would have pleased me more than to read about, or see, people portraying these characters actually testify in this Italian court. Because these companies have either decided not to further embarrass the court (Disney) or most likely will choose not to further embarrass the court (Warner), they earn recognition as being members of the Fun Police.

Oh Fun Police, why do you injure us so? Why do you not send Tweety Bird in to testify? Let me provide some insight as to how this might play out. My Italian is a little rusty, so I'm going to just translate it all into English.

Attorney: Mr. Bird, would you please state your name for the record?
Tweety Bird: I'm a tweet wittow biwd in a diwded cage; Tweety'th my name but I don't know my age.
A: We really don't care how old you are.
Court Reporter: I'm sorry to interrupt, but did you say that your name is Tweeteeth?
TB: No, Tweety'th my name but I...
CR: ...don't know your age. Yeah, I got that part, but I don't care. But you did say your name is Tweeteeth, correct?
TB: No! TWEETY!
CR: Oh, Tweety! I have it now, you can continue on. Sorry for interrupting.
A: Thank you Mr. Bird. Mr. Bird can you explain to the court what you were doing when you encountered the defendant on the night in question?
TB: I tas in my diwded cage when tuddenwy I tawt I taw a puddy tat!
A: I'm sorry, what?
TB: I did, I did, I taw a puddy tat!

You get the picture. This could have gone on and on forever. And then if you throw in a character like Donald Duck for whom it is possibly even more difficult to decipher what he is saying, and you get a fun time had by everybody. Oh those accursed Fun Police at Disney and Warner Bros...

The Misadventures of the Fun Police: South Carolina

You've had it happen to you before, you take a little boy's ice cream cone and run around laughing because you know he can't catch you until some adult comes out and scolds you, telling you to give the boy back his ice cream, or you're having a perfectly good time swatting butterflies with your suit jacket on the roof of the church until your mom scolds you and tells you to come down off of the roof. These are both perfect examples of the Fun Police getting in the way of good natured fun. Allow me to give you a recent example of the Fun Police striking again...

It seems the Fun Police are at it again. This time the Fun Police take the form of the South Carolina Democrats executive council. It seems that yesterday, or perhaps two days ago, the executive council voted to keep Stephen Colbert's name off of the ballot in the upcoming South Carolina Democratic Primary. Now I don't want to accuse the entire South Carolina Democrats executive council of being members of the Fun Police, just the thirteen of the sixteen that voted to keep Colbert off of the ballot. Oh, so he's trying to treat South Carolina Democrats like suckers and he detracts from the serious candidates on the ballot, they claim. Oh will the Fun Police never learn? Your tactics are transparent. You just fear that Colbert may actually get more votes than say, rock man or UFO boy. Oh Fun Police of the South Carolina Democrats executive council, you must ask yourselves this question: do you choose to keep Stephen Colbert off of the ballot because you believe that South Carolina Democrats are suckers? Please Fun Police, you can at least take solace in the fact that evidently Colbert would be trying to treat South Carolina Republicans as suckers too. Well, at least the Republicans are charging him more to make their party members look like suckers...