Okay so I'm super thrilled about the coming release (July 7th, to be precise) of the movie The Unborn on DVD and Blu-ray! I had so, so, so wanted to see...
You know what, damn it. I cannot even really pretend with this one. The movie looked awful when they were promoting it back in January, and it similarly looks awful now as for the last few days and weeks I've seen seemingly endless numbers of promotions about this wretched film's imminent release. The only thing that this film has going for it is that it has some really hot girl as the lead actress and that was evidently good enough to sucker fools around the world into spending nearly $76 million to waste at least eight-seven minutes of their lives. (You see, I did my wikipedia research.)
But why am I even bringing this up now? Well, it occurred to me the other day that the movie depictions that they have made make absolutely no sense. The Unborn is supposed to be this girl's unborn twin, right? So why in heavens is this girl in her late teens to early twenties and her unborn twin some kid that is no more than about ten years old? I mean seriously, if you wanted this film to be in anyway plausible and to have a chance at garnering the coveted Cabral Williams Seal of Approval, then you had one of two choices: either have the girl haunted by some sort of fetus looking thing or have her haunted by some dude roughly her same age.
Okay, so I guess using a fetus looking thing probably would have carried too much of a gross factor with it, but come on, having this girl haunted by a fetus would have been awesome! Okay, no it would not have been awesome; it would have been stupid. But the movie as it was made was stupid anyway. The only other plausible choice was to use an actor to play the unborn twin who is around the same age as this girl. Obviously there are quite a number of dudes out there that could have filled that frightening/creepy role. Heck, it did not take me very long to find one!
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
The Scene in He Got Game
So yesterday evening I happened to watch much of game one of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals between the Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons, and quite naturally, I was disappointed as the Celtics came away the victors. Somewhat coincidentally, I was flipping channels this morning before heading in to work and I happened to come across the movie He Got Game airing on one of the cable stations. Now for those unaware, He Got Game is a 1998 movie featuring Denzel Washington as Jake Shuttlesworth, the incarcerated father of Ray Allen's character Jesus Shuttlesworth, the top prep basketball player in the country. The coincidence, of course, is that Ray Allen is now a member of the Boston Celtics.
I had seen the movie in the theatre ten years ago, and then as no, something really disturbs me about the film. Well, at the very end of the film... Oh wait, maybe I should not spoil how the movie ends... No screw it; the movie has been out for ten years and so you have had plenty of time to see it. At the very end of the film, Jake Shuttlesworth, after fulfilling his end of a bargain whereby if he convinced his son to attend Big State, the alma mater of the governor, the governor would shorten his prison sentence, finds himself still imprisoned with seemingly no change to his sentence. Concurrent while Jake is out playing basketball in the prison yard, his son is playing basketball states away in the gym of his new school, Big State.
And then the symbolic (I guess) but truly perplexing occurs. Jake begins to walk while holding a basketball toward one of the goals and beyond into a section of the grounds labelled "Out of Bounds." Now I know what you're saying; what's so wrong with labelling the part on the basketball court that is out of bounds with "Out of Bounds?" Behind the basket is out of bounds after all. Now that's a good question except for the fact that this out of bounds section was the out of bounds section in which the prison guards evidently shoot you. Now Jake is walking out toward the shoot-me-please out of bounds section while the guards call him back as they simultaneously aim their guns at him. What does Jake do? Well, he tosses the basketball high up into the air and over the prison wall.
The scene shifts, and we are now back in the gym at Big State with Jesus Shuttlesworth alone getting some practice in. He's about to attempt a shot when seemingly out of nowhere a basketball flies onto the court. Now this was no ordinary basketball (of course it wasn't, I've just told you that it came flying in from seemingly nowhere) as when Jesus picked it up, we the audience could see that it was the same basketball that Jake threw from within the prison yard those many states away. The movie ends with Jesus staring up toward the arena ceiling in amazement as he holds the basketball and Jake walking back onto the court at the prison.
Now I always swore to myself that if I ever got the chance to meet Ray Allen, I would have to ask him about this scene. This is how I would envision this going:
Me: Hey Ray, how's it going?
Ray Allen: Great.
Me: Hey Ray, can I ask you a question?
R.A.: No, you can't have an autograph.
Me: No, I have a different question. It's about He's Got Game.
R.A.: Yes, I do get annoyed when people call me Jesus.
Me: No, it's about one of the scenes from the movie.
R.A.: Yes, the scene with me and the two porn stars was as awesome as it looked.
Me: No, I want to ask about the final scene in the movie - the one where you stand there when the ball magically flies into the arena from nowhere.
R.A.: Oh, that scene.
Me: When you read the script or when Spike Lee told you about this scene, did you think that he was a crazy person?
R.A.: (silence)
Me: I mean, did Spike bother to explain exactly what the symbolism behind this was.
R.A.: (silence)
Me: Was your character in the movie even supposed to know that your character's father threw the basketball because I couldn't see the ball closely, but I don't recall seeing "Property of Attica State Prison" on it?
R.A.: (silence)
Me: Oh, did Spike even tell you that a scene with Denzel throwing the ball was juxtaposed with the ball flying into the arena? Wait, did you even see the movie?
R.A.: Look, do you want my autograph or not?
And that's exactly how it would play out. Well, I wish to inform you that I did encounter Ray Allen on one occasion in early April of 2004. And how did things play out? Forgive me, but that is a story for another day...
I had seen the movie in the theatre ten years ago, and then as no, something really disturbs me about the film. Well, at the very end of the film... Oh wait, maybe I should not spoil how the movie ends... No screw it; the movie has been out for ten years and so you have had plenty of time to see it. At the very end of the film, Jake Shuttlesworth, after fulfilling his end of a bargain whereby if he convinced his son to attend Big State, the alma mater of the governor, the governor would shorten his prison sentence, finds himself still imprisoned with seemingly no change to his sentence. Concurrent while Jake is out playing basketball in the prison yard, his son is playing basketball states away in the gym of his new school, Big State.
And then the symbolic (I guess) but truly perplexing occurs. Jake begins to walk while holding a basketball toward one of the goals and beyond into a section of the grounds labelled "Out of Bounds." Now I know what you're saying; what's so wrong with labelling the part on the basketball court that is out of bounds with "Out of Bounds?" Behind the basket is out of bounds after all. Now that's a good question except for the fact that this out of bounds section was the out of bounds section in which the prison guards evidently shoot you. Now Jake is walking out toward the shoot-me-please out of bounds section while the guards call him back as they simultaneously aim their guns at him. What does Jake do? Well, he tosses the basketball high up into the air and over the prison wall.
The scene shifts, and we are now back in the gym at Big State with Jesus Shuttlesworth alone getting some practice in. He's about to attempt a shot when seemingly out of nowhere a basketball flies onto the court. Now this was no ordinary basketball (of course it wasn't, I've just told you that it came flying in from seemingly nowhere) as when Jesus picked it up, we the audience could see that it was the same basketball that Jake threw from within the prison yard those many states away. The movie ends with Jesus staring up toward the arena ceiling in amazement as he holds the basketball and Jake walking back onto the court at the prison.
Now I always swore to myself that if I ever got the chance to meet Ray Allen, I would have to ask him about this scene. This is how I would envision this going:
Me: Hey Ray, how's it going?
Ray Allen: Great.
Me: Hey Ray, can I ask you a question?
R.A.: No, you can't have an autograph.
Me: No, I have a different question. It's about He's Got Game.
R.A.: Yes, I do get annoyed when people call me Jesus.
Me: No, it's about one of the scenes from the movie.
R.A.: Yes, the scene with me and the two porn stars was as awesome as it looked.
Me: No, I want to ask about the final scene in the movie - the one where you stand there when the ball magically flies into the arena from nowhere.
R.A.: Oh, that scene.
Me: When you read the script or when Spike Lee told you about this scene, did you think that he was a crazy person?
R.A.: (silence)
Me: I mean, did Spike bother to explain exactly what the symbolism behind this was.
R.A.: (silence)
Me: Was your character in the movie even supposed to know that your character's father threw the basketball because I couldn't see the ball closely, but I don't recall seeing "Property of Attica State Prison" on it?
R.A.: (silence)
Me: Oh, did Spike even tell you that a scene with Denzel throwing the ball was juxtaposed with the ball flying into the arena? Wait, did you even see the movie?
R.A.: Look, do you want my autograph or not?
And that's exactly how it would play out. Well, I wish to inform you that I did encounter Ray Allen on one occasion in early April of 2004. And how did things play out? Forgive me, but that is a story for another day...
Monday, March 3, 2008
Darth Vader: The Chosen One
At the conclusion of the duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and the newly christened Darth Vader in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, after Kenobi had proven to be victorious, Kenobi had this to say to a a writhing Vader:
You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!
According to the words spoken by Kenobi, one might be led to believe that the prophesy had not been fulfilled, but upon closer inspection, one should conclude otherwise. At the time of Episode I: The Phantom Menace, only the most ardent of Sith devotees could claim that the Force was in any way balanced, at least from the perspective of Dark side strength versus Light side strength in the galaxy.
There was a reason that Episode I was titled as it was. The Sith menace to the galaxy was something that was largely hidden. It was the phantom menace after all. On the other hand, the Jedi were thriving. The Jedi had a veritable who's who on their Jedi Council. There was Master Yoda, Master Mace Windu, Master Adi Gallia, and, dare I say it, Master Saesee Tiin! In addition to this murderers' row of Jedi Masters (oh, and you better believe there were more than just these few that I've named!), there were a host of Jedi Knights, Jedi Padawans, and even some Jedi Younglings (a younger class of Padawans). And then of course, the Jedi had their swanky Jedi Temple and Jedi Council chambers on Coruscant. The Sith were essentially thought to be extinct by the Jedi at this point in time.
As powerful as Darth Sidious would prove to be by the end of Episode III, and as skilled as Darth Maul was in showing his ability to simultaneously take on Qui-Gon Jinn and Kenobi in Episode I, there is no way that this Sith duo could have prevailed in an open conflict versus all of the Jedi. Even in Episodes II and III when the more powerful Darth Tyranus joins Sidious, the two would not have been a legitimate match for the Jedi. It is only in weeding out the Jedi numbers that one can make the claim that the force is in balance: the Dark side is as strong as the Light side.
Anakin Skywalker, in becoming Darth Vader, helped this to come about. By intervening as Master Windu was on the verge of killing Lord Sidious, by leading an army of clones into the Jedi Temple to defeat Jedi that might be within, and with the assistance of Order 66, Skywalker/Vader did bring balance to the Force. Was there ever a greater balance between the Light side of the Force and the Dark side than there was during the juxtaposed climactic duel between Kenobi and Vader and the climactic duel between Yoda and Sidious? In watching the duels, if you did not know for a fact how the story had to end, you could envision either duel resulting in either combatant winning.
As for the other part of the prophesy, Skywalker did eventually aid in the destruction of the Sith. It is true that his part in the destruction of the Sith only occurred after he had joined their numbers, but in turning from his master and going to the aid of his son in Episode VI, Anakin Skywalker did finally complete the fulfillment of the prophesy that he would destroy the Sith and that he would bring balance to the Force, if not in that proper order.
You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!
According to the words spoken by Kenobi, one might be led to believe that the prophesy had not been fulfilled, but upon closer inspection, one should conclude otherwise. At the time of Episode I: The Phantom Menace, only the most ardent of Sith devotees could claim that the Force was in any way balanced, at least from the perspective of Dark side strength versus Light side strength in the galaxy.
There was a reason that Episode I was titled as it was. The Sith menace to the galaxy was something that was largely hidden. It was the phantom menace after all. On the other hand, the Jedi were thriving. The Jedi had a veritable who's who on their Jedi Council. There was Master Yoda, Master Mace Windu, Master Adi Gallia, and, dare I say it, Master Saesee Tiin! In addition to this murderers' row of Jedi Masters (oh, and you better believe there were more than just these few that I've named!), there were a host of Jedi Knights, Jedi Padawans, and even some Jedi Younglings (a younger class of Padawans). And then of course, the Jedi had their swanky Jedi Temple and Jedi Council chambers on Coruscant. The Sith were essentially thought to be extinct by the Jedi at this point in time.
As powerful as Darth Sidious would prove to be by the end of Episode III, and as skilled as Darth Maul was in showing his ability to simultaneously take on Qui-Gon Jinn and Kenobi in Episode I, there is no way that this Sith duo could have prevailed in an open conflict versus all of the Jedi. Even in Episodes II and III when the more powerful Darth Tyranus joins Sidious, the two would not have been a legitimate match for the Jedi. It is only in weeding out the Jedi numbers that one can make the claim that the force is in balance: the Dark side is as strong as the Light side.
Anakin Skywalker, in becoming Darth Vader, helped this to come about. By intervening as Master Windu was on the verge of killing Lord Sidious, by leading an army of clones into the Jedi Temple to defeat Jedi that might be within, and with the assistance of Order 66, Skywalker/Vader did bring balance to the Force. Was there ever a greater balance between the Light side of the Force and the Dark side than there was during the juxtaposed climactic duel between Kenobi and Vader and the climactic duel between Yoda and Sidious? In watching the duels, if you did not know for a fact how the story had to end, you could envision either duel resulting in either combatant winning.
As for the other part of the prophesy, Skywalker did eventually aid in the destruction of the Sith. It is true that his part in the destruction of the Sith only occurred after he had joined their numbers, but in turning from his master and going to the aid of his son in Episode VI, Anakin Skywalker did finally complete the fulfillment of the prophesy that he would destroy the Sith and that he would bring balance to the Force, if not in that proper order.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Before There was a New Batch
As everyone knows by now, the Academy Awards were handed out yesterday evening. There were some surprise winners, and some awards went precisely where most people expected. And showing my talent for timing things perfectly, I turned to the channel on which the Academy Awards were being broadcast just in time to see No Country for Old Men win the award for best picture. Perfect timing.
Generally I don't watch any of these awards shows. The Academy Awards would tend to be the exception, as I am far more likely to watch this program than any of the other shows. And since I watched roughly two minutes of the Academy Awards, and since this total time dwarfed the amount of time combined that I have spent watching all other awards shows this year, there is very little of substance that I can say about this year's editions of those programs. However, using the Academy Awards as inspiration, and based on the overwhelming success that I had the last time I wrote about a movie (and please ignore the foolish comments), I wish to discuss the movie Gremlins.
Now some time ago (in a different space) I discussed this very topic. There is something about the movie Gremlins that disturbs me greatly. And of course what bothers me about the movie centers around the rules governing the mogwai. The first rule I don't really care about, never expose the mogwai to the sun or bright light, or it will die. Okay, I get this one; I have no complaints here. But the second rule is never get them wet. What exactly does this mean? Does it mean that a mogwai could not stroll the streets of Houston, TX because it is always so ridiculously humid that you feel like taking a shower each time you step out of your car (at least during the months of March through November). So is the humidity in the air not sufficient enough to get the mogwai wet? And does this mean that a mogwai can never take a drink of water for fear of reproducing? And let's go another step further. What happens if the mogwai is wet by Kool-Aid or by Olde English 800? These are very important unanswered questions if I do say so myself. (And I do.)
But of course this brings me to the stupidest rule of them all, never feed the mogwai after midnight. What exactly does this mean? It seems pretty clear that 12:01 am would count as after midnight and I suppose it would probably be bad to feed them at 12:13 am. But what about at say 4:45 am? This is still after midnight isn't it? And last I checked, 1:33 pm is still technically after midnight as well. So when can you and when can you not feed the little monsters? And what happens when the mogwai crosses into a different time zone? Let's say that the mogwai is in a part of Indiana that is near the time zone boundary. It's just after midnight in the Eastern Time Zone, but the mogwai feels like a late night snack. Can the mogwai walk across the street to the corner deli that is in the Central Time Zone and eat a sandwich without the fear of changing into a demon? Answer these questions for me if you please.
Generally I don't watch any of these awards shows. The Academy Awards would tend to be the exception, as I am far more likely to watch this program than any of the other shows. And since I watched roughly two minutes of the Academy Awards, and since this total time dwarfed the amount of time combined that I have spent watching all other awards shows this year, there is very little of substance that I can say about this year's editions of those programs. However, using the Academy Awards as inspiration, and based on the overwhelming success that I had the last time I wrote about a movie (and please ignore the foolish comments), I wish to discuss the movie Gremlins.
Now some time ago (in a different space) I discussed this very topic. There is something about the movie Gremlins that disturbs me greatly. And of course what bothers me about the movie centers around the rules governing the mogwai. The first rule I don't really care about, never expose the mogwai to the sun or bright light, or it will die. Okay, I get this one; I have no complaints here. But the second rule is never get them wet. What exactly does this mean? Does it mean that a mogwai could not stroll the streets of Houston, TX because it is always so ridiculously humid that you feel like taking a shower each time you step out of your car (at least during the months of March through November). So is the humidity in the air not sufficient enough to get the mogwai wet? And does this mean that a mogwai can never take a drink of water for fear of reproducing? And let's go another step further. What happens if the mogwai is wet by Kool-Aid or by Olde English 800? These are very important unanswered questions if I do say so myself. (And I do.)
But of course this brings me to the stupidest rule of them all, never feed the mogwai after midnight. What exactly does this mean? It seems pretty clear that 12:01 am would count as after midnight and I suppose it would probably be bad to feed them at 12:13 am. But what about at say 4:45 am? This is still after midnight isn't it? And last I checked, 1:33 pm is still technically after midnight as well. So when can you and when can you not feed the little monsters? And what happens when the mogwai crosses into a different time zone? Let's say that the mogwai is in a part of Indiana that is near the time zone boundary. It's just after midnight in the Eastern Time Zone, but the mogwai feels like a late night snack. Can the mogwai walk across the street to the corner deli that is in the Central Time Zone and eat a sandwich without the fear of changing into a demon? Answer these questions for me if you please.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
What is Reality?
The Matrix is one of my favorite movies of all time. The notion of what is real and what rules actually exist (to the extent that anything truly exists) plays a huge role in the virtual world of the Matrix. During Neo's training, Morpheus tells Neo that there are certain rules that can be ignored or broken. The key is the person's mind, we are led to believe, it is what makes things real in that world. Recently I have discovered something that is slightly troubling about the notion of reality in the movie.
After Neo attempts the "Jump" program during his training and he and Morpheus are unplugged, Neo discovers that his lip is bleeding from having crashed into the ground in the program. Neo says to Morpheus, "I thought you said it wasn't real." Morpheus replies, "Your mind makes it real." Presumably in the movie those people who are still hardwired to the Matrix are more controlled by the system of rules and laws in place. Those minds that are free, those minds that visit the Matrix through hacking in to the system, those individuals would seem to be bound by the laws only insofar as their minds are unable to reject the notion that nothing is truly real in the virtual world.
Yes, I am rambling on a bit, but (a) I'm allowed to do so (just read the title of this blog if you need a justification) and (b) this is going somewhere. A pivotal moment in the movie is when after Morpheus has been captured and the Agents are trying to extract information from him about Zion, Neo, thinking that he is sacrificing everything, along with Trinity, comes to Morpheus's rescue. It is after Neo has downed all of the Agents and Morpheus frees his mind from the effects of the drugs and breaks free of the handcuffs that something curious happens. Morpheus begins running toward the helicopter piloted by Trinity when the newly transferred Agents re-enter the room. The agents begin shooting at Morpheus and one bullet actually strikes Morpheus's lower leg causing him to stumble as he gets close to the open window. The question is, why does Morpheus stumble?
If in the world of the Matrix, a person's mind is what makes things real. If Morpheus's mind had believed that he had been shot in the leg, then if Morpheus was unable to mentally realize that there was no bullet, then Morpheus would have stumbled. However, Morpheus could not have possibly seen the bullet strike his leg. First of all, the "bullet" (just as "there is no spoon," there is no bullet...) was travelling way too fast for his eyes to have truly processed it if he had been looking in the direction from which it was fired. Second of all, he was not looking in the direction from which it had been fired. Morpheus could not have possibly known that he had been shot, and so his mind could not have made this sensation real.
Again, if Morpheus was still hardwired to the system, he probably would have been more subject to the rules which exist within. The rules within the Matrix probably would have been set up such that when someone is shot, they feel it. But as is explained in the movie, these rules are more absolute for those currently on the system. In other words, those minds that are not yet free might have a strong enough will to realize that they have not truly been shot, but there is no possible way that Morpheus should have ever experienced any sensation of being shot by that "bullet."
After Neo attempts the "Jump" program during his training and he and Morpheus are unplugged, Neo discovers that his lip is bleeding from having crashed into the ground in the program. Neo says to Morpheus, "I thought you said it wasn't real." Morpheus replies, "Your mind makes it real." Presumably in the movie those people who are still hardwired to the Matrix are more controlled by the system of rules and laws in place. Those minds that are free, those minds that visit the Matrix through hacking in to the system, those individuals would seem to be bound by the laws only insofar as their minds are unable to reject the notion that nothing is truly real in the virtual world.
Yes, I am rambling on a bit, but (a) I'm allowed to do so (just read the title of this blog if you need a justification) and (b) this is going somewhere. A pivotal moment in the movie is when after Morpheus has been captured and the Agents are trying to extract information from him about Zion, Neo, thinking that he is sacrificing everything, along with Trinity, comes to Morpheus's rescue. It is after Neo has downed all of the Agents and Morpheus frees his mind from the effects of the drugs and breaks free of the handcuffs that something curious happens. Morpheus begins running toward the helicopter piloted by Trinity when the newly transferred Agents re-enter the room. The agents begin shooting at Morpheus and one bullet actually strikes Morpheus's lower leg causing him to stumble as he gets close to the open window. The question is, why does Morpheus stumble?
If in the world of the Matrix, a person's mind is what makes things real. If Morpheus's mind had believed that he had been shot in the leg, then if Morpheus was unable to mentally realize that there was no bullet, then Morpheus would have stumbled. However, Morpheus could not have possibly seen the bullet strike his leg. First of all, the "bullet" (just as "there is no spoon," there is no bullet...) was travelling way too fast for his eyes to have truly processed it if he had been looking in the direction from which it was fired. Second of all, he was not looking in the direction from which it had been fired. Morpheus could not have possibly known that he had been shot, and so his mind could not have made this sensation real.
Again, if Morpheus was still hardwired to the system, he probably would have been more subject to the rules which exist within. The rules within the Matrix probably would have been set up such that when someone is shot, they feel it. But as is explained in the movie, these rules are more absolute for those currently on the system. In other words, those minds that are not yet free might have a strong enough will to realize that they have not truly been shot, but there is no possible way that Morpheus should have ever experienced any sensation of being shot by that "bullet."
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