Spears-Federline Rankings - Person of 2007

There are very few people who have not heard of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. As to whether this fact is a good thing or a bad thing is up to one's own interpretation. (It's a bad thing.) But with all that has been going on in the lives of these two very talented individuals, I thought that it would be worthwhile to periodically provide updates of the current rankings of the two. So, what follows are the current rankings between the two, with short explanations given for each. First place votes appear in parentheses.

End of 2007 Rankings December 18, 2007

2. Kevin Federline - This should come as a huge shock to regular readers of the Spears-Federline Rankings. Federline has had an unbelievable year. He has gone from lame former backup dancer for a lame disbanded boy band to a lame former backup dancer for a lame disbanded boy band, but one who totally worked Britney Spears over in the custody battle for the former couple's children. It has been such an outstanding year that one publication has even named Federline the co-father of the year. Now granted, the Committee had never actually heard of this publication, and Federline shared the award with Larry Birkhead, so it is questionable whether this award is truly noteworthy. However, it is certainly better than any award that Spears has received. And did the Committee mention that Federline is set to guest star on the television program One Tree Hill in January? This is some outstanding work out of Federline, and it certainly should garner him the Spears-Federline Person of the Year award, but...

1. Britney Spears (1) - Britney Spears heads the year-end Spears-Federline Rankings. In what is certainly an upset, Spears impressed the Committee enough to somehow nudge past Federline at the finish line. What impressed the Committee enough to help her surge past Federline? Was it the bizarre decision to shave her head earlier this year? Was it that she still wanted to continue her marriage with a certain lame former backup dancer? Was it that she developed into a veritable alcoholic? Was it that she started to run people down on the streets at a rate that normally would be expected of someone four times her age? Was it that truly outstanding performance she put forward at the MTV Video Music Awards? No, none of these things helped, and thus Spears was miles behind Federline for this title. Nothing short of ending the Hollywood writers' strike could have saved Spears because the Committee has truly missed the Committee's favorite television shows. But then the Committee pondered this; if Britney Spears did end the writers' strike, that would increase the chances of Federline appearing in more episodes of One Tree Hill. Though no member of the Committee actually watches this program, the Committee does realize that more Federline television appearances is something that no one wants. So by not ending the Hollywood writers' strike, and sparing us from more Federline, Britney Spears wins the Spears-Federline Person of the Year.

2008 is a new year; who will get off to a fast start?