Yesterday was a rough day. I ended up spending just about the entire day in bed. I never believed that it would be so gut-wrenching, but the death of Anna Nicole Smith has hit me harder than I believed it would. And this is because I just realized that I could be the father of her baby. I mean, evidently any guy could be the father...
UPDATE: I just checked a photo of the baby and apparently the baby is not black and thus can't be mine. Damn you Prinz von Anhalt! And yes, this is a perfect illustration of just how screwed up this country is. It is absurd how much media attention this stupid story is getting. But what would people like Rita Cosby do if the stupid media did not pay attention to these stories?
UPDATE #2: It has been brought to my attention that apparently the baby seen in photographs may be one that was part of some switch and I might still in fact be the father of Anna Nicole's baby. The most likely culprits are probably the dastardly Frederick Prinz von Anhalt (I knew I was dealing with an uncommonly wily foe when I saw him give his press conferences on Friday...) or Rita Cosby. But stay tuned America, I'm sure the media will be all over these startling new developments in this overwhelmingly important story.
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