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For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Spears-Federline Rankings - September 11, 2007

There are very few people who have not heard of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. As to whether this fact is a good thing or a bad thing is up to one's own interpretation. (It's a bad thing.) But with all that has been going on in the lives of these two very talented individuals, I thought that it would be worthwhile to periodically provide updates of the current rankings of the two. So, what follows are the current rankings between the two, with short explanations given for each. First place votes appear in parentheses.

Rankings for September 11, 2007

1. Britney Spears of 1999 (1) - The Britney Spears 1999 version tops this edition of the rankings after an incredibly strong performance (relatively speaking, of course). Spears 1999 was in the midst of incredible inertial mediocrity. Hot off the success of "...Baby One More Time," Spears 1999 was at the pinnacle of her career. She was young, she was sweet, she was only seventeen. It was almost as if she was a dancing queen. She was dating a future musical star in the person of Justin Timberlake, and she was lusted after by millions of guys sitting in their underwear in their parents' basements who were counting down the days until her eighteenth birthday. Now true, these guys neglected the fact that she was not really that attractive at all and that they would never really have a chance with her anyway, but that did not matter, she was still under eighteen. She rode her unbelievably mediocre talent all the way to a Grammy nomination (she actually had multiple nominations) for Best New Artist where she ultimately lost to one who truly has talent, Christina Aguilera. Well done Britney Spears 1999!

2. Britney Spears of 2007 - Britney Spears 2007 is on the comeback trail and her recent successes nearly boosted her into the coveted number one position. Spears 2007 has suffered through a rough patch for much of this year, getting steamrolled frequently by perennially number one ranked Kevin Federline. However, Britney 2007 is back! Making a triumphant return at the recent MTV Video Music Awards, Britney showed the world that she's back and almost as mediocre as ever. Now, no one from the Committee actually watched the VMAs (note: the Committee as a rule does not watch awards shows), but from what the Committee has been told, Britney sounded terrific. Britney did not stumble over any words, although the Committee has been told that her mouth movements were not always in sync with the song. You see there, Spears 2007 has developed the skill of ventriloquy! That's something that Spears 1999 did not bring to the table. This new talent was determined by the Committee to be a boost to her rankings climb. And based on the reports about what Spears 2007 was wearing during her performance, the Committee can only assume that Spears is as hot as ever. Since Spears is no longer with husband Kevin Federline, all those guys sitting in their underwear in their parents' basements have renewed hopes. Keep hope alive! Excellent effort Spears 2007, but maybe next time...

How will Kevin Federline counter back?!?!?

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