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For those of you who by some extremely unlikely set of circumstances happened to stumble upon this page, I apologize to you. For those of you who intentionally came to this page - yikes! As the title of the weblog indicates, these are my Ramblings About Whatever. There is a chance that I will ramble about just about anything (as I am in this introduction), but only a select few topics will actually make this site. Enjoy! (I guess...)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Spears-Federline Rankings - October 23, 2007

There are very few people who have not heard of Kevin Federline and Britney Spears. As to whether this fact is a good thing or a bad thing is up to one's own interpretation. (It's a bad thing.) But with all that has been going on in the lives of these two very talented individuals, I thought that it would be worthwhile to periodically provide updates of the current rankings of the two. So, what follows are the current rankings between the two, with short explanations given for each. First place votes appear in parentheses.

Note: Things are coming fast and furiously folks! Such is the influx of new information that the Committee is considering giving up all other activity and purely focusing on consistently updating these rankings to ensure that they are as current as possible.

Rankings for October 23, 2007

1. Britney Spears (1) - For the second time in a row, Britney Spears tops the Spears-Federline Rankings. However, this race like most others was almost too close to call. Since the last rankings, Spears lost visitation rights with the kids and then gained them back (and maybe lost and gained visitation rights once again...), was booked and released on driving related charges (to be fair, the driving related charges happened back during the summer and really did not influence these rankings), and enhanced her lips to enormous proportions. All of these things were a net negative and probably would have forced Britney down to number two in the rankings - especially considering the tremendous performance by Federline (see below) - if not for Spears's other big news: she ran over the foot of a paparazzo. Somehow the Committee missed that Britney Spears and the late Princess Diana are apparently kindred spirits. It's true! Or at least it appears Spears thinks so. And what better comparison ever existed? Princess Diana worked to change the way people perceived those people suffering with AIDS, and in addition, worked tirelessly to convince the world to ban landmines. Diana also was the mother of the two men that currently are second and third in line to the throne of the United Kingdom. Similarly, Britney Spears has sung songs titled "...Baby One More Time," "I'm a Slave 4 U," "Toxic," and "Gimme More." And just in case the similarities are not yet clear, Britney Spears is also the mother of two sons who are heirs to a former backup dancer for LFO. So maybe in Britney's mind she took the first step in avoiding the fate that befell Diana by running over a paparazzo. Good show, Britney, and paparazzi beware.

2. Kevin Federline - Federline made a hard charge to regain the top spot that he had so long enjoyed but came up a bit short. Since the last rankings, he regained sole custody and then lost partial custody of his children to a crazy person (see above). In addition, the Committee notes as a bright spot that Federline has maintained his recent habit of not releasing rap albums. The Committee also took into account that new opportunities have opened up for Federline with the comeback of the Backstreet Boys. Said Backstreet Boys are one person short with the retirement of former member Kevin Richardson, and who better to join the group as lead backup dancer for the next two months until the band goes on hiatus yet again than Kevin Federline? The new album is to be released next week so everybody get in line!

3. Sean Preston Federline (second in line) - "Mama, what big lips you have..."

4. Jayden James Federline (third in line) - "Mama, what big lips you have..."

Will Kevin Federline make it back to the top?


Debbie said...

i get all my britney/k-fed info from your blog. that's weird cabral...why do you know all of these random stories about them?????

Cabral Williams said...

Because Debbie, I just do. I just do. Everyone is blessed with certain talents, and the one that I have that I'm most thankful for is knowledge of the goings on in the Committee that compiles the Spears-Federline Rankings.