Wild Hogs - Yeah!

Wow! It has indeed been some time since I posted anything. Why is that (you most certainly must be asking)? Well, it's quite simple; I have been preparing myself for this very big day - today - March 2, 2007. And why is this a big day? Well, it's a big day because today is the nationwide release of the movie Wild Hogs. And I could not be any more excited about this.

When I heard some weeks ago that Wild Hogs was going to be released in some areas for a sneak peek on February 24, I did what any other sensible person who has been anxiously awaiting the release of a movie would do. First, I went to the closest movie theatre to my home on the 24th, checked to see whether they were showing Wild Hogs, when I found out that they were not, I started berating the teenager who informed me that I was out of luck, I poured the bottle of Gatorade that I had snuck into the theatre on the teen's head (everyone deserves to have a Gatorade shower at least once in his/her life), and I poured the bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup that I had snuck into the theatre all over the floor. I was then forcibly removed from the theatre. Secondly, I went to the next closest movie theatre to my home, checked to see whether they were showing Wild Hogs, when I found out that they were not, I started berating the teenager who informed me that I was out of luck, I poured the bottle of Gatorade that I had snuck into the theatre on the teen's head, and I poured the bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup that I had snuck into the theatre all over the floor. I was then forcibly removed from the theatre. Well, this pattern continued until I finally accepted the fact that I was going to have to wait an extra week to see this movie that I had been eagerly anticipating. (I visited about eight movie theatres that day.)

But really, can you blame me? I mean, it's Wild Hogs! It's a biker comedy movie starring John Travolta (who apparently could have used the power of Scientology to save Anna Nicole Smith), Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and, wait for it, William H. Macy. If this cast doesn't fit the definition of excellence, I don't know what does. Okay I do know what does; just throw in Ashton Kutcher and if you didn't have a cast that fit the definition of excellence before, you would now. Now sure, I really don't know anything about this movie beyond the fact that it is allegedly a biker comedy, and perhaps they are using the term "comedy" loosely, and I have only seen one movie in the theatre starring any of the aforementioned actors appearing in this movie (William H. Macy - Boogie Nights), but it is nice to know that after making questionable movie choices like Battlefield Earth (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/battlefield_earth/), John Travolta's career is back on the upswing (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/wild_hogs/). Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave work early to go see Wild Hogs. And yes, my car is fully loaded with Gatorade and Aunt Jemima syrup.