Here's another reason to get the kids to bed early: More sleep may lower their risk of becoming obese. Researchers have found that every additional hour per night a third-grader spends sleeping reduces the child's chances of being obese in sixth grade by 40 percent.
Okay, that first paragraph said it all to me and thus I did not have to read any more. It all makes perfect sense to me now. I have noticed that I have seen many more fat kids these days, certainly more than I can remember seeing as I was growing up. So inspired am I at having seen so many fat kids in recent years that I have written a song that I am debuting here for the first time ever. It is to the tune of Old McDonald Had a Farm. I hope you like it!
Houston, Texas has some schools, E I E I O
And at these schools it has some kids, E I E I O
With a fat kid here and a fat kid there,
Here's a kid, yes, he's fat, everywhere a fat kid!
Houston, Texas has some kids, E I E I O!
(You get the picture. If you wish to sing along for a few more verses, just substitute your town and state for Houston and Texas. Be creative!)
And of course the only possible reason that these kids are so fat is that they are not getting enough sleep. And so this clearly, logically says to me that every hour that a kid is not in bed, he is gorging himself like there is no tomorrow. I mean this obviously explains why my parents continuously had shackles on the refrigerator doors every night as we grew up. They knew that if were not sleeping, there was only one possible thing that we could be doing: heading toward the fridge to get fat. Well, I know I never say this enough, but thanks mom and dad!
And all of you teachers in schools, this means that you have two simple directives to undertake: more nap time and less book learning. We cannot possibly allow the children to continue to get fat at this alarming rate, so don't wake them up if they start to doze off in class. More sleeping and less doing of other stuff will solve our child obesity problem.